AllFreeNovel
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We both welcome the sun’s rays as they feed through the branches of the surrounding pines. It has momentarily won against the darkness prowling closer, but the darkness always wins in the end.
A long dock we had built when we bought the place extends into the water. As tempting as a swim sounds, I have to admit last night left me tired as hell. Besides, the undercurrents this time of year can turn deadly.
“Can’t sleep?”
I take a deep gulp of my black coffee not ready to share the mess of shit I’m feeling. I don’t think I can put it to words if I tried anyway.
“Yeah, sleeping isn’t coming easy but for a whole other set of reasons than usual, though.”
“She’s not what I expected either.” My brain zeroes in on the worry that darkens my friend’s expression.
“What has your face lookin’ like you rather punch me than talk?” We both drink more coffee as he considers his words. Aziel isn’t one to just blurt out everything he thinks. He likes to chew on his thoughts and then offer up whatever tastes best. Usually, the sugar-coated shit as to not hurt people’s feelings.
But when he’s with me or Rush, we get the unvarnished version of Aziel.
“We have how many shows in the contract with Club Sin?”
“To start a week straight and then decide how many and how often.”
Aziel nods. “You felt what I felt last night, didn’t you? Rush did too. Hell, he hasn’t let her out of his arms since she arrived.”
Aziel pauses. “She trusts us and I know the instant comfort we feel with her will cause us pain in the end. This girl gets emotionally connected with just a kiss.” He hisses through his teeth. “If we see this contract through there is no way she is walking. She’s not the kind of girl who does a quick fling. You can see long-term written all over that irresistible body.”
What is left unsaid is felt the hardest. Can we walk away from her when the contract ends?
We both stand silently looking at Belle in my bed. The three of us are assholes for what we did to her last night. We should have walked away back at Club Sin and picked one of those other women.
The idea churns my gut. We should have dumped the whole idea. My stomach rolls at the idea of just picking some random stranger to sink our cocks into.
But isn’t that what we did? Belle doesn’t feel like a stranger at all. Her sass, quick wit, and willingness to seek pleasure and be pleasured spoke to me in a way no other woman has.
“It feels like we’ve known her our whole lives. How is that possible?”
I’m speaking low but my brother hears me. “I don't know, man. How is anything we share possible?” Hard blue eyes swing from Belle to land on mine. “How did I come back from the dead? How do we read each other so easily? How is being so connected to another person so strongly that you feel them in your bones real?”
Fuck. Me.
He’s asking all the questions I don’t have answers to. None of us do.
“You’re not afraid of her not being able to walk away. You’re scared shitless you can’t.” I drink in the way our girl drapes her leg over Rush’s hip. His possessive hold on her even in his sleep. “We all are. Even Rush.”
Aziel re-hooks the end of his towel and I give him an option to consider.
“How about this? We help Raja, do as our CO commanded, and see how we feel about our rule after a couple of times with Belle on stage. Maybe we can make a relationship work.”
“Fuck the rule, man. That no relationship shit is done for me.”
Aziel tosses his coffee over the deck, his face turning a ghostly pale, and memories of his near-death skitter across my memories. I know because I see it when he’s stressed and it’s one of the reasons our commanding officer has ordered us to take some downtime.
My gut clenches and I have to remind myself that Aziel didn’t die on that mission. That he isn’t dead now. He’s just frustrated and scared.
His voice is rough with emotions when he speaks again. “I can feel you’re thinking the same as me, but you always have a hard time letting go of control. One thing is for damn sure, though, brother. You can’t hide from what happened tonight with Belle. We’re all tired of death.”
Aziel pauses, dragging my gut through the trenches of darkness we’ve shared with his sudden silence.
He takes his eyes off Belle to look at me with remorse seemingly eating him from the inside out. His next words punch me in the gut, but I can't say I didn’t see them coming.
“I want out. The question only you can answer is do you want out, too? The CO knows this last mission was rough on us and our time is coming to an end anyway. I’m going to ask for my papers.”
