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Thegigended,andI reveled in the screams from the crowd, my body buzzing. Normally I would reach for a bottle of whiskey and a line or six of coke before I fucked the adrenaline from my system, but I couldn’t do any of that due to my enforced drink and drug ban. For years I’d used the same quick and simple ways to silence the crazy that ran through me after we played, but I had none of that and I couldn’t even find someone to fuck because it made me wonder if I was ruining my recovery. Right now, I was a volcano about to erupt, and I had no idea what that would do for my sobriety.
Drowning in the tsunami of emotions slamming into me relentlessly, I needed to discover a new way to release them, and space seemed like the only thing I had left to try before they dragged me under. I approached the fire escape, nodding at the security guard standing inside, stopping randoms from finding the band’s private area. There weren’t many places in a venue that could be all ours when we were on tour, but we always had one room that was invite-only and a corner outside.
I stepped into the cold, dark London night and took a second to breathe it in. I’d not been sober this long since I was about fourteen. It was strange. Raw, harsh, exposing. Pretty fucking amazing and pretty fucking terrifying, in equal measure. Everything felt more. Bigger, grander, more colorful. If this was the difference that happened in two weeks, I wondered how I’d feel in six months. Although, right now, six months seemed impossible. Right now, I just needed to get through the rest of tonight.
I heard a scream. A grunt. What sounded like a punch and then a thud, like a body hitting the floor. And then a cry. A female cry.What the fuck? I leaped down the five steps that led to the alley below. When I reached the shadow-filled corner, someone wearing crew kit was towering over a woman, his fist raised, about to hit her.
“Fuck, man, what are you doing?” I yelled.
“Nothing. I found her like this. If bitches stand in alleys alone, then they get what they deserve. You wanna join me? She won’t remember a thing.”
“You’re fucking joking, right? Who the hell are you? You’re fired, you sick fuck,” I bit out as I slammed my fist into his face. The first punch knocked the air from his lungs. The second and third drove him to his knees and my boot to the side of his head sent him to the floor, out cold. I leaned over, quickly scooping up the woman. Her skirt was pulled up around her waist, tights ripped and hanging from her body, her nose bloody, black eye forming, and she had what looked like scratches on her cheek.Fuck, what did he do to her?
“Hey, you’re going to be okay. You’re safe. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”
I carried her back inside, shouting for someone to find me, Addi or Rylee. I pointed to security to deal with the asshole in the alley, knowing he’d get exactly what he deserved.
Addi appeared. “Shit, Emmy. What happened to her? She’s only been here about two hours. What the fuck, Tanner?”
“I didn’t do this to her. I found her outside. There was some crew guy all over her. I fucking saved her. I’m messed up, Addi. I’m not a fucking rapist or a woman beater,” I hissed, defending myself.
Stroking her fingers over the bruises on this woman’s face, Addi sighed. “Sorry, Tan. I know. It’s just, I invited her here. This is on me. Put her in a side room and I’ll get someone to watch her till she wakes up.”
“Are you fucking joking with me? You invited her. She was attacked and you’re going to leave her in a back room of a gig until she wakes up, surrounded by strangers? Not a fucking chance. She’s coming with me and I will take care of her until I know she’s okay. Why is she here?”
“I was going to wait until I had you guys together.”
“Why is she here?” My tone demanded an answer.
“She’s the writer. She’s a ghostwriter. She’s writing the book.”
“She doesn’t look like a writer. She looks like a librarian.”
“Wow. Judge much, Tanner? She can wear what she wants and still be a totally sought-after writer. I’m paying her a fuck ton of money to follow you around for six months to get your story… all of your stories. She can look like a librarian, a slut, or a fucking unicorn. I don’t care as long as she writes me a book that makes the world fall back in love with you all again. Are you going to put her down, Tan? I can find you a chair for her.”
“Nope. I’m not putting her anywhere unless I know it’s somewhere I can protect her.”
Addi smiled a knowing half-smile that I wanted to unpick and question, but I didn’t. “I’m taking… Emmy, is it? Back to the hotel. I’ll take her to my suite, but I want someone in with me, so she knows I’ve not tried anything and that she’s been safe the whole time. Can you sort that?”
“Course. I’ll send Matt. Go, get in the car with your security and he’ll meet you there.”
“Thanks. And Addi, don’t tell the others about why Emmy’s here until we can give her a chance to get over this. She might wake up and decide that this isn’t the life for her. I don’t want the whole band staring at her until she’s decided to do this.”
“Wow, Tanner. Not drinking really suits you, man. Who knew you had a heart?”
“I always had a heart. I was just too drunk or fucked to know it worked.”
Back at the hotel, I laid her on the bed in my suite because I wanted to keep her safe. I wasn’t sure why, but I put it down to the fact that someone we’d employed had hurt her. Matt stood guard outside my open bedroom door, as I took a moment to really take her in. She looked tiny on my huge bed, her long, dark hair splayed out across my pillows. Her full pink lips parted slightly as she groaned softly. I wasn’t joking when I’d told Addi that she looked like a librarian, her shapeless clothes making her look way older than she appeared up close, hiding her body and shielding her curves. I wondered about who she was and what would make someone so young dress the way she did. Although, if that creep tonight was any reflection of the men she was used to, then I could understand exactly why.
Her eye was angry and purple, darkening more by the minute. Her nose was swollen, blood had dried on her lips and chin, and scratches covered her cheek. I headed to the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit and flannel that I ran under the hot tap. Going back to my room, I wiped her face gently, removing the blood and cleaning the cuts, causing her to wince and groan, but she didn’t wake up.
I placed the cloth on the end table, laying down next to her, brushing her hair back from her face. I couldn’t explain why, but I wanted to watch her for a while, promising myself I would move to the chair I’d planned to sleep on in a minute. Even from the distance I’d deliberately put between us, I could feel the warmth from her body and the rhythmic intake of her breath, which soothed me like the soft beat of a song in the silence of the night.
My eyes felt heavy and instead of fighting them, I let them close… just for a moment.
Chapter 5
Emmy
