Page 98 of Cosmic God


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Thecommunalhallwaywasstill in darkness, but the lights in my apartment shone brightly. Matt pushed back the door, standing in front of me.

“Emmy, I don’t know how much you saw when you came in, but you need to take a deep breath for this. Tanner and I are here, and if you want to step out, we’re right behind you. You’re safe. Just remember that. Ready?”

I felt Tanner’s hand tighten in mine and I tried not to overthink that it was him I’d asked to come with me, still surprised that the whole band appeared when I needed help.

Stepping inside, I took it all in.

Someone had taken a knife to the sofa and torn it to shreds. The contents of my kitchen lay smashed on the floor. They’d kicked open doors and there were holes in the walls where they’d been hit with something solid.

I glanced into the bathroom. Every bottle had been emptied and anything that could be smashed had been; the floor covered in glass from the broken bottles and mirror.

When we reached my bedroom, I thought I was going to be sick as I looked inside. They had cut every item of clothing to shreds. My underwear, bedding, and all the photos and keepsakes of mum I’d tucked away for safekeeping had been destroyed. The bed had been sliced in the same way as the sofa had and something red had been tipped all over it. When I noticed the wall behind my bed, I turned and ran.

It was too much to see.

Tanner didn’t let go of me or say a word. He just moved with me until we were outside in the hallway. Then he wrapped me in his arms, holding me while I hyperventilated.

I closed my eyes, but I couldn’t get the image of my bedroom wall from my head. Red liquid, which I hoped was paint, had been poured over my bed, and WHORE was written across the wall in huge letters. All around the it were pictures of Tanner and me. Pictures from the tour, pictures that had been in the press, pictures of me going about my normal life since I got back from being with them. In every one, my head or my eyes had been scratched out of the photos. I’d been cut out with scissors, scribbled out in anger, or the same red liquid had been used to erase me. It was scary as hell.

Tanner slipped his fingers under my chin, lifting my face to look at him.

“Breathe, Emmy. Long, deep breaths. I’ve got you, angel. You’re safe. I promise. We will keep you safe.”

I pressed my forehead to his chest and tried to believe that I could ever feel safe again.

“Emmy, Matt sent me the pictures of your apartment.” Thomas’ commanding voice issued his instructions over the speakerphone. “I want you to stay with the band until I get to you. It will be a couple of days, but I will be there. We need to look at all this shit that’s been going on. There has to be something we’re missing. Melissa and I will come and help you all sort this out. Stay safe until then. Promise me.”

“I promise. Thanks, Thomas. Give Melissa a hug for me.”

“Matt, keep your eye on her.”

“Of course I fucking will, Thomas.”

Thomas hung up and Matt ran his fingers over his shaved head with an audible sigh.

“We should stay here for a while. The hotel is much easier to protect. If you go to Lori and Phil’s like you planned, I’m going to struggle. Plus, you’re dragging them into all this.”

“Tanner, I can’t hurt them. Please. I’d never forgive myself.” I reached out for him as he sat next to me, giving me space, but reminding me he was close by if I needed him.

“We’ll stay here, angel. All of us.”

Rylee appeared with a tray of tea. “It’s nice to see you again, Emmy. Are you okay?”

“Just a small burglary. Nothing I can’t handle,” I offered with a sigh.

“I’m so sorry that someone would trash your new apartment like that. If I can help at all, let me know.”

I squeezed her hand, and she left.

Everyone reached for their mugs of tea and Addi stood with a stretch. “Right, bedtime, I think. Emmy, there is a room at the end of the hall for you, and Matt or one of his team will be outside all night, so you know you’re safe.”

“Thanks, Addi, but I don’t think I’ll be sleeping for a while. You all get off, though. I know how crazy your schedules are.”

They all turned and stared at me. “What do you need, Em?” Mav asked, concern covering his face.

“I don’t know. A distraction. A film. Food. Laughter. If I try to sleep, I’m just going to keep seeing my trashed bedroom.”

“Then that’s what we will do. How about I come, keep you company while you shower, and remove all the mascara that’s currently covering your cheeks, and we’ll have a sleepover on the sofas? The boys can sort it out while you freshen up. Frankie can pick a film. Romcom or action?” Addi offered.

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