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Prologue
“Nobandpracticetonight?”Gabe asked, looking up briefly from the game he was playing on the widescreen TV in his parent’s den.
“No. Some shit's going down with Tanner. Mum and Dad are sorting it, so I’ve left them all to it. Room for one more? I can go if you’re busy.”
He leaned over, grabbed the spare controller from the coffee table, and handed it to me. Looking up, his hazel eyes burned into mine briefly before he turned his attention back to the game. “Always room for you, Gray. You know that.”
I dropped into the seat next to him, and we started playing. “Things have been weird lately. Are you okay? Are we okay?” I asked anxiously.
“Gray, you’re going off to be a rock star. You’ve got a recording contract. You’re about to hit the big time. I’m just stepping back and letting you get on with it. You were always meant for so much more than this small town crap.”
“But we’ve been best friends since pre-school. I don’t want to move on and forget about you, Gabe.”
“It’s for the best, Gray. You’ve always burned too brightly to be happy in a normal life.”
I turned to look at my friend, unsure what he was talking about. Staring at his profile, I couldn’t help but notice his clenched jaw and the flush of pink that seemed to have spread up his neck to his cheeks. Although his gaze stayed fixed on the screen in front of him, pretending he couldn’t feel my eyes on him.
“Gabe, what the hell?”
He sighed. “Maybe you should just go, Gray. I’m not sure I want to get into this with you now.”
“Get into what?” I questioned, frustratedly.
Since the Cosmic Gods were signed by Dark River Records a few months ago, things had changed massively for the band and we were all still trying to get used to this new life—our music on the radio, our faces in magazines, reporters following us—it was a lot, but Gabe was my rock. We’d been friends for a lifetime, and I didn’t expect the potential of money and fame to change what we had.
“Fine. If that’s what you want, I’ll go.” I laid the controller on the sofa and moved to stand. “We leave for London on Sunday. The label has got us an apartment there, so we’re closer to the studio. If you want to talk before then, you've got my number. Otherwise, I guess I’ll see you around. And if you ever want to explain what the hell this was all about, Gabe, I’ll always be willing to listen.”
I turned my back on my best friend and started to move to the door. A bang ricocheted out into the room, seconds before my chest was shoved aggressively against the wall, knocking the air from my lungs.
Gabe’s warm, ragged breath was suddenly against my neck as his hands grabbed my hips, pinning me in place.
“What the fuck, Gabe?” I gasped out.
“You’re fucking infuriating, Gray. How can you not see what’s going on right in front of you? Are you really that blind?” he fired out, his words sharp and cutting.
“Get off me!” I yelled, trying to break out of his hold. “W—what are you talking about? Did I do something? Why the hell are you angry at me?”
Spinning me around, he caged me in, pressing his hands against the wall on either side of my chest. Taking a step backward, he put some distance between our bodies, but his arms remained firmly locked in place, so I couldn’t move anywhere.
Gabe dropped his head and sighed. When he lifted it again, his eyes shone with something I couldn’t explain. “How do you not know how I feel about you? How I’ve felt about you for years? Have you really never thought of me like that? Thought about us together?”
“Together?” I stared, confused, shaking my head at his words because not once in our friendship had I thought he felt that way about me. Gabe sucked in a deep breath as if he was steadying his nerve. Slowly, he stepped forward, pushing his hips against mine. His swollen cock pressed into me as if that was meant to be enough to answer all my questions.
My mouth fell open in shock and he leaned forward, pulling my bottom lip between his teeth, making me groan as it sent an unexpected spark of electricity through me.
“I want you so fucking much, Gray. I go to bed thinking about you. I wake up hard from dreaming about you. I jerk off to the idea of you in my mouth, fucking my lips until you come on my tongue. And now what? You get to vanish from my life because you’re off to be a rock star and I get left behind, wondering what could have been if I’d been brave enough to go after what I wanted.”
“Gabe, I like girls. I’ve never thought about being with a man. I mean—”
I couldn’t finish my sentence because his lips crashed against mine, sending an eruption of heat searing through me. I should have stopped him. I’d never been attracted to a man before, but his soft lips were such an amazing contrast to the hardness of his body and my cock started to thicken.
He reached up, cupping my face, his tongue pushing against the seam of my lips until I groaned. The inevitability of what was about to happen washed over me, but I didn’t want to do a thing to stop it.
His tongue found mine, exploring my mouth, dominating our kiss, stealing my doubts, so all I could do was sink into the feelings he was stirring up inside me. Feelings I didn’t even know existed until right now.
As our breathing grew heavy, he pressed his palm to my jeans, cupping the outline of my throbbing cock. Gabe groaned, breaking me from whatever spell I’d fallen under. I reared back, shoving him away from me.
“Gabe, I can’t,” I panted out, my heart racing and my balls aching with a desire I didn’t understand. “I don’t want this… this isn’t me.”
