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I turned off my phone and pushed it into my pocket, already feeling lighter.
“Right, I’ve emailed them all to Addi, so I guess you’re officially on holiday. Shall we go celebrate with a glass of wine?” Ivy asked, appearing next to me.
“Sounds like a plan, firefly.”
She turned, entwining her fingers with mine. “It’s good to see you again, Grayson.”
“Oh, that was so good. Honestly, I don’t think I could eat another mouthful. Thank you, Ethan,” I declared as I placed my knife and fork down on the plate.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. More wine?”
He didn’t wait for me to answer before he poured what must be my third large glass.
“Let me clear the table.” Ivy stood, piling the plates, and carrying them to the kitchen. Their dining room was enormous, but Ethan sat at the head of the table and they had placed me next to him, with Ivy on my other side.
“I thought I might have heard from you, Gray.” Ethan punctuated the silence with his statement.
“Really?” I replied, genuinely shocked.
“You had my number. You didn’t mind calling me to share my princess, but then radio silence. Was she not what you’d hoped for?” His voice was low, causing my cock to swell from the dominance I heard dripping from it.
“That’s not it at all. You’re a couple. I shouldn’t have got involved in your relationship like that.”
“Because you didn’t want to?”
“Because I wanted it too much,” I let out quietly, afraid to admit my feelings about that night, still not sure if I could really trust them both.
“You wanted Ivy too much?”
“I can’t talk about this. It was amazing. I’ve not been able to stop thinking about that night, but I’m fucked up. What I want is fucked up. I know that, so I don’t dwell on it.”
Ivy walked back in, interrupting the conversation by placing some cheesecake on the table. Out of nowhere, I suddenly felt on edge, my skin itching, the unfamiliarity of the place overwhelming me.
“Look, I appreciate the offer of staying, but I should go.” I pushed my chair to stand, searching around for my car keys.
“You’ve had way too much to drink, Gray,” Ethan barked out.
“Fine, I’ll get a cab. Stay in a hotel. I’ll pick my car up tomorrow.”
“Grayson.” Ivy’s soft voice was light to Ethan’s dark, domineering tone, and the itch under my skin worsened. “Grayson, look at me. What is it? What’s making you run?”
“There are certain things I need to control.”
“And what would you do in a hotel that you can’t do here?”
“I would arrange the room, unpack and organize, I would breathe, shower.”
“Okay, well, you have a room upstairs. Let me show you. Then you can do all of that, except shower, unless it’s actually a shower and not a coping technique. Tell us what you need, and we can help you. Running, spending time on your own where your thoughts will take over, none of that will help. Surely you know that?”
I nodded, feeling slightly calmer already from being able to be honest with her about my compulsions. “Thank you.”
She took my hand and walked me upstairs to the room where my bag was already waiting.
“You can trust us, Grayson. Your secrets, your fears, and your desires are all safe here with us. You don’t have to run. Tell us what you need and we can give it to you, but we can’t read your mind.”
“Thank you,” I managed to say, not able to look at her.
“And Grayson, I know about the shower limit your therapist gave you. Addi told me when I was with the band. If you shower, is it in your quota?”
