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“God, this is the hottest thing I’ve ever done in my life. You both feel… Shit. Oh, God. I’m so close.”
I moved slowly, letting the full length of my cock slide in and out of him. Each thrust into Gray pushed him deeper into Ivy. Knowing we were all close to the edge, I slipped my hand between them, pressing my thumb to Ivy’s swollen bundle of nerves and cupping Gray’s balls.
Ivy came first, thrashing and pulling Gray to her mouth as she writhed beneath him like a woman possessed. He pinned her thighs to the bed, thrusting hard and deep, and I drove into him from behind. Ivy didn’t get a minute to come down, so a second orgasm ripped through her. Digging her fingers into my hips, she pulled me harder against them both. Finishing off Gray, who came with a guttural cry, the walls of his tight ass squeezing even more as his body tensed, causing me to spill my load into him. Pumping slowly, I gave him every last drop, taking with it the last of my energy, and I had to fight the urge to collapse on top of them both.
I pulled out of Gray slowly, listening to him hiss and Ivy groan from the movement. I left them to separate themselves from each other while I moved to the bathroom for a couple of washcloths. I walked back to the bed, where they were both breathless, sated, and utterly beautiful. I took a cloth and ran it between Ivy’s legs before I gently cleaned up Gray’s semi-hard cock and ass, which was dripping with my cum. Tossing them in the hamper, I climbed into bed, taking the space in the middle. Ivy curled up next to me, kissing me slowly, whispering a thank you as she fell asleep. Gray lay hovering on the edge of the bed.
“You promised me one night, Gray. That’s all night. You don’t get to bail now.” He leaned his head on his elbow before stretching over, kissing me hard, his lips saying a million words he obviously couldn’t speak.
I fell asleep with them both wrapped around me, making me feel complete. It was just a shame that when the sun came up, they were both gone.
Chapter 6
Ivy
Iwokeupwrappedaround Ethan, my body aching from last night. I wondered for a second if I should feel embarrassed about what we did or even jealous, but I didn’t. Seeing them together, feeling them with me, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. And I already knew I wanted more.
It was then I noticed the other side of our giant bed was empty. Standing, I pulled my silk robe from the back of the bathroom door, wrapping it around myself before I tied up my unruly curls in a messy bun, my heart racing at the thought of seeing him again.
What if he ran?
Checking the room I’d shown him to last night, I found the bed hadn’t been slept in. As I looked around, I couldn’t help but notice the changes he’d made. The bed was stripped of the luxurious duvet, comforter, and pillows and instead, a thin sheet was spread across the bed. He’d pulled the armchair in front of the on-suite, blocking access to it. His clothes were hung up, ordered by color and type, belongings laid out, straight and perfectly spaced, and next to his bed was a notebook and pen lined up, along with his phone.
I let out a sigh of relief when I realized he must still be here, somewhere. Flicking off the light, I padded downstairs, searching for him. It didn’t take me long to find him, standing in the living room, looking out through the patio doors across the manicured lawns that surrounded the back of the house. He was only wearing some black sweats and the tattoo on his back called to me in the low light of the room. It really was the most beautiful one I’d ever seen. I had to stop myself from reaching out and touching the cosmic essence of him that he’d let spill out for the world to see.
“Grayson?” I whispered, afraid of making him run.
He turned, a mug in his hand.
“I hope you don’t mind. I helped myself to coffee.”
“Of course not. Are you okay?”
“Yes… no… I have no idea, firefly.”
“Is it us? Ethan and me? What we did last night?”
I watched as Gray leaned down, placing his mug on the coffee table next to me, and then he moved, wrapping his hand over my cheek and tilting my head up towards his.
“Ivy, I regret a lot of things in my life, but last night isn’t one of them. Getting to bury myself in you, feeling Ethan… it was everything. I’ve never felt 100% satisfied, and I didn’t know why, until last night. You both gave me more than I deserve.”
He kissed my temple as I pressed my face to his chest.
“So, what is it?”
“I don’t know how to explain it. I just feel lost. It’s weird being a twin, part of a band who I spend every minute of every day with, but I always feel alone. Unless I’m on stage, I don’t know who I am. It’s why I wanted time away from them. To figure myself out, but you and Ethan were right. Spending time on my own is the worst idea. I can already feel my OCD creeping in.”
I pulled him to the sofa, encouraging him to sit, while I curled up next to him, pulling my legs under me. Close enough that he could feel me nearby, but far enough away to give him the space I thought he needed. I pulled a comforter over us and he looked down at it, confused, rubbing his fingers over its soft texture.
“Tell me about your OCD. How do the showers help?” I asked, wrapping his hand in mine, remembering what he said about needing to feel grounded.
“My therapist tells me that some people wash their hands. My hands are my job, so I found another way, although, in the end, my hands still suffered. Showering started as a way to wash away my emotions. The high after a gig, the guilt after fucking groupies without knowing their names, the shame from the constant stories in the press. Then it became a way to silence my fears. Not feeling good enough, waiting for someone to notice I wasn’t Cosmic God material, the fear of losing everything I’d worked for my whole life.” He paused and then let out a long, slow breath.
“At first, it helped, but then I noticed I needed more of them. I needed to wash for longer, and I had to turn the temperature up higher until I got that same feeling of relief. Before I knew it, I was spending hours in the shower each day scrubbing my skin, scalding myself, and punishing myself for my life. Frankie noticed the blisters. She called Mum, and she got me the help I needed. I’ve always liked control, but the last year has been something else. Sometimes I just want to let go. Let someone else tell me what I need. Maybe it’s because in the band, every decision is made for us and we just show up, but outside of that, I have no idea who I am or what I want.”
I lifted his hand to my mouth and kissed his knuckles. “I wish I could make you see yourself the way I do, Grayson. I wish I could help you heal.”
“You did so much. I’m not sure you’ll ever understand, but right now, I really do need to shower. And then I will head off and leave you and Ethan to your life. But I won’t ever forget you, firefly.”
