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About an hour into our journey, I felt restless, so I took a notebook to the lounge area of the bus because I could hear a song in my head, and I was desperate to get it down on paper. I found Tanner sitting there, doing the same. His eyes met mine for a moment, but we found the same thing reflected back; the need to commit the words to paper before they slipped away.
Time passed, the gentle movement of the bus carried us forward, and Tanner and I sat happily in silence, lost in our own melodies, chords, and words as I rubbed my triangle pendant through my fingers.
“Is that for them?” I heard my brother ask me. Even though he wasn’t my brother by blood, he was as much my brother as Frankie was my sister.
“Yes.”
“Tell me about them. About how it works. I mean, you don’t have to, but I want to understand.”
I stared at him because no one had asked me anything about how we work together since I’d told them all.
“It’s easy. Imagine how much you love Emmy. Now think about feeling that way for two people.”
“So, you share your love for them.”
“No, I love them just as much as you love Em. I love twice as much. Being with them both doesn’t diminish what I feel for one of them. It heightens it.”
“Shit. I hope that’s what you’re pouring into whatever you’re writing.”
“Of course.” I faked a smile, but I couldn’t hold it in place long before it slipped away as fear gnawed at me. “Addi hates my relationship with them. I know she says she's happy for me, but it’s not an easy story to sell.”
“Fuck the story, Gray. You don’t have to work out how to live a life that the press are happy with or that fits into an easy box.”
“We want to get married.”
“Yeah, the wedding band on your non-wedding hand and the chain around your neck with their names on kind of gave it away, bro.”
“I’m scared,” I admitted
“Of what?”
“Having to choose. I don’t think I can have them and this life. What if I have to choose? I don’t want to leave you guys.”
“Grayson, you are as much a part of this band as any of us. We aren’t the Cosmic Gods without you, but we would also never ask you to be unhappy. You’ll find a way.”
“Help me?”
Tanner raised his brows in a silent question.
“Help me marry them. We’re going to Vegas. I want you, Mav, and Frankie there, but I don’t want anyone else to know. I want it to be a done deal before Addi can lose her mind.”
“I’m sure if you just told her—”
“No, the things she said to me, I can’t forget them. My relationship with them is an inconvenience, another black mark on the band’s reputation.”
“Your relationship with them is different but so fucking real. Anyone can see that, Gray.”
I twisted the ring around my finger, wishing I could wear it where every other person in the world who was engaged wore their ring.
“Help me, but Addi can’t know. Promise.”
“I promise. But is it even legal? They’re already married, and can three people have a wedding?” He asked a sensible question.
“Ivy and Gray had a handfasting, so they aren’t legally married and none of us care about it being legal. We just want to sayI doto each other and make vows that will last a lifetime.”
“Seriously, man, your romantic side is killing me. You do remember that the love of my life left me because I was a dick, don’t you?”
“Shit, Tan. I’m sorry. I’m an insensitive prick.”
