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“That she does. Can you stay with her, Mav, while I go tell Addi what’s going on? I just need a second. There’s security outside, so you’ll both be safe. I just don’t want her waking up and being on her own.”
“Of course, Matt. Take your time. I’ve got her.”
I didn’t make it to Tanner’s room because I suddenly desperately needed air. Pushing out of the doors of the hospital, the icy winter air hit my lungs and I vomited violently.
Leaning over, pressing my hands to my knees, I heaved and spluttered as I tried to calm the overwhelming emotions slamming into me.
“Matt, stand up and look at me.” Thomas appeared next to me. “Look at me and breathe with me. I breathe in, you breathe out. Just focus on that breath.”
I did as he said, and the tightness in my chest lessened slightly.
“You know, when Lissa was pregnant, she nearly died. I was in London, and I had to get a helicopter back to her. Blake, our daughter, was fine, but Lissa bled so much that they thought her body would shut down. She was out of it for days and I still don’t know how I got through it, but my friend Reid reminded me that she was a queen and would fight for me and Blake. He was right. She did. Frankie is strong. She survived a gunshot wound that should have killed her on impact. That girl bounced that bullet off her bones. She’s a superhero. You don’t get to give up on her or doubt just how capable she is.”
“But Emma and Alfie. This is like them all over again. She texted me earlier, telling me she needed to talk to me. I told her I was too busy because we were working. What if she dies because I wasn’t there?”
“Matt, I’ve told you this since I met you. What happened to Emma and Alfie was the worst. Heartbreaking. But it wasn’t your fault. Even if you’d taken the call, you couldn’t have helped them. Someone was already in the house. That’s why she called, and you know that deep down. Let me ask you something, was what happened to Tanner and Frankie my fault? I mean, I was there protecting them, as was my team.”
“No, of course not.”
“So why is it yours?”
“Because I should have protected her,” I cried out.
“You’ve tried to do that. By closing yourself off to her, by not telling her about your past, by trying to hide how you feel, but it won’t work because you love her too much. It’s time to let go of the past, Matt. To lay Emma and Alfie to rest. They would want you to be happy, and nearly losing Frankie should be enough of a sign that it’s time to move on. Frankie survived something today that should have killed her. Someone, up there,” he pointed to the sky above us. “Is giving you a sign that she’s your future.”
“But…”
“Moving on doesn’t mean you didn’t love them with your whole heart. It just means your heart is big enough to love again. That’s pretty fucking special, Matt. Don’t blow it because you’re letting your past punish you.”
My head spun as I listened to his words, knowing somewhere, deep in the pit of my stomach, that he was right. “I’d best get back inside,” I whispered, glancing back at the hospital doors.
“Let me fill Addi in and tell her you’re off the clock. I’ll take over for a while, so you can focus on Frankie.”
“Thank you. For everything.”
Thomas nodded, walking back into the hospital with me, making me glad someone else was taking charge for a while.
I think I must have fallen asleep, but when I heard the door swing open I leaped from my seat, not sure what was going on. “Matt, I’m Victoria, one of Frankie’s nurses. It doesn’t look like you’re leaving her side anytime soon, so I brought you some food and the porter is bringing a bed in for you so you can at least get some rest.”
“Thank you. When will she wake up?”
“Probably not for a couple of days. She’s on some pretty intense painkillers and we want to monitor her to make sure there is no internal bleeding, and her remaining kidney is coping. The best thing you can do is get some rest because when she wakes up, she’s going to be in a whole heap of pain and she’ll need her boyfriend to take care of her.”
“I’m not her… actually, I am. I’m her boyfriend.”She just doesn’t know it yet.
Chapter 19
Frankie
Frankie
ThefirstthingInoticed was that it hurt to breathe. Each breath I took felt shallow and burned like hell. The second thing I noticed was that my body felt weird. Sore, bruised, battered. The third thing I noticed was Matt lying next to me on a separate bed, his hand holding on to me tightly, looking like a disheveled, hairy, homeless bear and I had no idea why. In fact, I had no idea where we were or what the hell had happened.
Looking around the room, it dawned on me that we were in a hospital. I was in a gown, with tubes and wires all over my body, which was vibrating with discomfort. I panicked and tried to sit up, but a searing pain shot through me, making me scream. Matt’s eyes flew open.
“Rogue,” his voice sounded emotional as he stared, taking me in like he didn’t believe I was really here. “Hey, take it easy. Don’t move too much. You have a whole lot of stitches in there and I can’t cope with you having to go into surgery again.”
“What happened?” I groaned out.
