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“I could never think less of you,” she whispered.
“I couldn’t explain why I told you I was married. It’s messed up, I know, but it made so much sense in my head. Iammarried, Rogue, and I always will be. I promised my heart to a woman who was taken from me, and I didn’t know how to get over that. In fact, I probably never will, but you said something that made me see things differently. You said my heart was big enough to love you all and maybe that’s true.”
I forced down the lump in my throat to say the words that had been living in my head since that night, but I’d never got a chance to say to Frankie.
“Loving you doesn’t mean I didn’t love them. I don’t have to think about who I’d choose if you were both standing in front of me. I’ve realized that while I’ve been trying to justify my feelings for you in terms of my relationship with Emma, actually, none of that makes sense. I don’t have to choose because someone took that away. They took her away. If she was here, I would never have been in a position to take this job and you and I would never have met. Her death led me to you and I can’t help feeling like that has some meaning. I’ve wasted years with you, Rogue, because I couldn’t be honest about my past. I tried to protect you by keeping you at arm’s length and I nearly lost you—you ended it with me and then you were shot. I can’t risk losing you again, so this is me… opening up.”
Frankie opened her mouth to say something, but I was so worried if she stopped me I would lose my nerve to say what I wanted to say, so I pressed two fingers against her lips to silence her.
“I love you. I want a life with you. I don’t want to waste any more time. So, if you trust me, if you forgive me, if you can handle my grumpy bear-ness then I want to have a relationship with you. I can’t and I won’t forget my past, but if you’re happy to share my heart with their memory, I want to build a future with you.”
I let out a huge breath. All my feelings about Emma, Alfie, and Frankie out in the world. My body felt lighter and my heart beat a little stronger.
“Matt…”
“Will you have me, Rogue? Tell me you’re mine,” I begged, terrified that I’d opened up too late.
“I’ve been yours since I met you, but can I be honest?”
“Always.”
“I’m scared. You have a really bad habit of freaking out and pushing me away. I can’t spend my life second guessing you, Matt. I can’t have you lie to me, even if you think it’s for my own good. If we’re doing this, then no secrets. Not one. Not ever. I have to know I can trust you and that you won’t push me away again.”
I opened my mouth to speak, and she held up her hand to silence me. “I have one more condition. That you never stop talking about Emma and Alfie. I want to see photos, I want to hear stories, I want you to celebrate anniversaries and birthdays. You loved them, Matt, and you don’t have to ignore or diminish how important they were to you. You loving them doesn’t mean you love me less. I don’t ever want you to forget how important they were to you.”
I didn’t realize I was crying again until she wiped away my tears with her fingers.
“I promise I can do all of that, Rogue. All of it. You have my word.”
Her mouth lowered to mine, and I felt the world melt away. She kissed me like she owned me. Dominating my mouth and offering me her heart. I couldn’t contain the moan that slipped from my lips as our kiss deepened. We stayed like that for such a long time, surrounded by the lake, the winter sun brushing our skin. Eventually, we parted, so we could both catch our breath.
Frankie pulled back, running her fingers through my hair.
“Can you do me a favor? Can you shave your head but keep the beard?”
“Specific request, Rogue, but for you, anything.”
“I love your shaved head, but I love the beard. Put the two together and I think I might come just from looking at you.”
I laughed loudly. “Then your wish is my command. Shall we see if I can make you come before then, though?”
Her hips begin to roll over my cock as she pulled down her vest top, leaving her breasts exposed.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” I murmured as I palmed her breasts, pulling her nipple to my lips, flicking and sucking it until it hardened in from my touch.
I moved my mouth to her other breast as she frantically fought to undo my jeans, freeing my cock with a groan as she wrapped her hand around it.
Her short skirt had bunched around her waist, exposing her soft folds. Shifting over me, she rubbed my head through her wetness, edging her entrance.
“Bear,” she breathed out huskily.
“Rogue, we can’t. You need to heal.”
“I need to feel you. I’m sick of feeling broken. I’m sick of dreaming about you inside me. I need you. It’s been so long.”
Lowering herself down, she pushed her hips slowly, so my head slipped inside her. We both cried out together, having not been together like this for months.
Panting, I tried to resist the overwhelming urge to slam myself deep inside her delicious pussy and fuck her until she fell apart. Trying to regain control, I pulled out and she cried out from my withdrawal. Instead, I pushed two fingers inside her, sliding them in and out. She didn’t seem to be in any discomfort, so I slid in a third finger.
