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“Fuck!” I screamed out into the night, moving to the riverbank to get a better look. Half the bridge was missing, its stony arch still standing on our side, but the torrent of water had washed away the other side completely.
Frankie followed me, wrapping her arms around herself, trying unsuccessfully to shelter from the rain. “Let’s go back to the cabin. Tell me what you need. Let me find a way to help you,” she yelled through the noise of the storm.
I moved closer to the river, trying to get a better view, considering all my options to get across the water to where I needed to be.
“Matt, please, you’re scaring me,” she begged, appearing next to me, pulling my hand into hers.
The rain hammered down, the lightning flashed, the thunder roared, and the river careered past us angrily. I dragged my hand free over my face, wiping away the water.
“I need to get across, Rogue. I have to go.”
“Why? Bear, please.”
“I… I can’t… I just need to get there.”
Her hand cupped my cheek. “Where?”
“To get answers.”
“About?”
I stared up at the sky and let out a cry that was swallowed by the thunder as if the universe was trying to punctuate my pain. Looking back down at the woman I loved, I was glad the rain hid the tears from my face as my heart broke for another woman I still loved.
“Emma.”
“Emma?”
“And Alfie.”
“What happened?” she asked, both of us shivering as the rain pelted us relentlessly.
Thunder crashed again, and the river seemed to surge next to us as if my tears made it swell.
“The police found their killer. A man. He had their photos. The bastard took photos of them after he killed them. They have him. I need to see him. I need to know why.”
Her face crumbled as she felt my pain. “Okay. Okay. Come back to the house and I’ll find us a way out of here. A helicopter. Something, Bear, I promise. I’ll get you there, but you have to come back inside. It’s too dangerous out here.”
“I’m sorry,” I yelled above all the noise.
“Never, never apologize for needing to take care of their memories. Not ever.”
I stared down at her. Rain dripping from her nose, her hair sticking to her face, soaked through, shivering.
“How do I do this?” looking up at the sky, hoping for answers. “How do I live a life with you, but always have their ghosts surrounding me?”
“You stop thinking about them like ghosts. Let them live. In your heart, your memories, in your head. You don’t have to make them a part of your past, Bear. They can live with us. You can bring them with you into our lives.”
“I don’t deserve you. I have never deserved you.”
“You deserve everything good in the world. You’re not responsible for what happened to them. That man is, and we can go and find out who he is and why he did what he did. But you need to come inside while I find a way to make this better, Matt. You can’t go anywhere right now.”
“I can’t wait. I need to know,” I sobbed.
“What, are you going to swim across? The bridge is out. Please, come back to the house and let me make some calls.”
I started pacing over the muddy, rain soaked river bank, trying desperately to find a way across.
Her hand pressed into mine, stopping me in my tracks. “Bear... Matt. Take a breath. Let me speak to Addi and see what we can do. The rain is meant to pass by the morning. We can get a helicopter out of here. Just breathe and let me take care of everything.”
