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I snatch the keys and push open the door, slamming it behind me. Then I stalk up to him, rip his phone from his hands and look at it.
“A game?” I say, snarling the words and going to toss the phone. But he snatches it back. “You were playing a game?”
“You were being boring, Mia. And don’t try and fuck with my phone. That shit is expensive. If you want to be a petulant brat, go break your own.” He puts the damn device down on his car’s roof, out of my reach.
“I don’t want you here. I don’t—”
“Sweetness,” he puts his hands on my face, “you don’t want to want me. I get it. You’re what I shouldn’t want. You complicate things, and here we are.”
“Christian,” I say, the heat of his touch sliding down and calming me a little. “It’s not like this just happened. You were determined to be here and interfere with my life.”
“I’m protecting you. I’d kill for you. In fact, I have.”
“It’s too much. I . . .” Not the death, not the killing, but how I feel, and I can’t find the words to say that to him.
But Christian sighs and brushes my temple with his lips in a kiss that’s so soft and tender I want to cry.
I’m an absolute mess, bouncing around like a crazy thing.
“I know. And I’m sorry. But you get it, right? You get you wouldn’t find it too much if this was just pure and unadulterated sex. There’s something else, that extra dimension between us. That other pull. And that’s why it’s too much.”
He folds me in his arms, and I push but he doesn’t let me go.
I fight a little, but really, I don’t want to. His arms are warm and strong, and he’s not trying anything. This isn’t like the whole thing on the couch.
This might be worse. It’s comfort and understanding. Something I don’t want to need. But he doesn’t let go, doesn’t do anything but hold me.
And I settle. Bit by bit. The tension begins to flow away, and while it lingers at my edges, Christian somehow gets it to stay there. Just by holding me without a demand or hidden meaning.
“I don’t . . . I’m not crazy.”
He laughs against my hair. “Sweetness, if you were crazy, I wouldn’t blame you. But you’re not. You’re working through a whole lot of shit. What happened to you should never have happened to anyone. Ever. And especially not you. But we can’t change the past, Mia. And you’re going to yoyo as you should. Just know you can’t fucking get rid of me or your family.”
“You all want to lock me away.”
“I want to strip you down, Mia.”
I shiver at his words, at the thread of heat they hold. Oh, there’s the sexual heat, but there’s something else in them too. And I deliberately leave it alone.
He sighs. “We do what we do because we’re built that way.”
“You’re all built to be overbearing assholes?”
“Yeah. That’s one way of putting it.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and rub my cheek against him. “You scare me. Not physically, but the rest. Emotionally.” Crap. Everything is coming out wrong. “Not like in some romantic way. I mean, you make me feel when I don’t want to. You push at me. I need my barriers, Christian. I need them. They keep me safe.”
“You’re really asking for space?”
“Yes.”
He eases me back and searches my face, and I can’t read a thing in his expression. It makes my heart squeeze tight.
“Fine,” he says softly, “then I’ll go.”
I swear my jaw drops as I step away, drawing my robe around me, aware of the coolness of the night air making my nipples bead and harden. Or maybe that’s just from him holding me, having me against the heat and hardness that’s Christian.
“Is this a trick?”
