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Unlike yesterday, I had the presence of mind not to move more than my head as I lifted it to look down at him. He watched me, his hand continuing its slow, soothing circle.
“I know I didn’t climb up here myself.”
“You were making a sad face in your sleep. I hugged you, and you seemed to like it, except for my arm under you. I think it hurt your side. I rolled over like this so I could continue hugging you and keep the sadness away without hurting you.” He lifted his head and breathed in deeply near my neck, which sent a tingle of need through me.
“You smell good,” he said in a husky rumble before lowering his head back to the pillow.
He didn’t grind against me or move his hand to any area other than my back. What else could I think but that he was being completely honest about how and why I’d gotten into this position? Tor had truly only meant to soothe away the sadness Adam’s departure had caused me, even in my sleep.
Curling my arms around Tor’s sides, I set my head against his chest again.
“You smell good, too,” I said softly. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
His cock twitched against me.
“I will always care for you.”
My pulse sped up, and for a moment, Tor was the focus of my thoughts. What would it be like if he and I were together? Would he hold me like this every night? I knew the answer to that would be yes. He would hold me like this when I wanted and do so much more when I was ready. My core clenched at the thought of doing more with Tor. The man was huge. Would I like it? I wasn’t sure, and I definitely wasn’t ready to find out. Yesterday had been enough of a shock to last me a while.
“Is it okay for me to move yet?” I asked softly.
“I won’t release against you again. I apologize for yesterday. I should have released before bed but forgot. I made sure to use my hand after you fell asleep.”
I jerked my head up to stare down at him and struggled with what to say. Did he just admit that he’d masturbated in bed? Next to me? Did I really want to ask and get more clarification? Absolutely not.
“I appreciate your honesty, Tor. I really do. But maybe you don’t need to be so open about everything.”
“What do you mean?”
“You shouldn’t tell a girl that you masturbated in bed next to her.”
“I didn’t masturbate next to you. I went to the bathroom so I wouldn’t make a mess on the sheets again. I know you didn’t like that.”
The twitch between us was even more noticeable than the time before. He may know that I hadn’t liked it, but he certainly had.
“I think I’m going to get up now. I don’t want to be late for the supply run.”
He grunted and released me. I carefully eased off of him and averted my gaze as I got out of bed.
“I will make you something to eat,” he said before he got up and left the room.
I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly dressed. When I went downstairs, he was standing by the stove. A pair of shorts covered his hips, but his back was exposed for my perusal. His grey skin had stopped looking odd to me. Instead, the dusky color tempted me.
Swallowing hard, I sat on the stool and tried to understand what I was doing. I had no business feeling any attraction to Tor when I was still so caught up with Adam.
“But are you?” a little voice inside of me asked.
I paused, trying to decide what exactly I did feel. I was still hurt by the way Adam had left me and what he’d said. I missed him because he’d been a familiar part of my life for so long. And I loved him. But that love wasn’t a burning passion. It was a flame of caring and devotion to someone who’d risked everything time and again to keep me safe.
Angel’s words teased my mind again.
Adam had asked me to let him go. Why cling to someone who didn’t ask for devotion?
“You look unhappy,” Tor said. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m struggling,” I said honestly. “Adam is leaving today to go to the caves. I trust the fey to keep him safe until he gets there. But I understand what he means to do. He hopes that once he’s in those caves, he’ll be reborn without injuries like you guys are. That means he needs to die.
“What if it doesn’t work? I don’t know how to feel about him possibly heading to his death. I know he and I are not a couple anymore. But that doesn’t simply erase three years of memories and feelings.” I let out a frustrated breath.
