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“Okay. What do we do when we find him? He’s already been exiled.”
I slumped in my chair and exhaled heavily, realizing he was right. While Turik and the rest of the fey might be out for blood because of the way Nat treated me, the humans here did not have the same stance, and if I were being honest with myself, I wasn’t sure I wanted blood either. However, I couldn’t simply ignore that Nat was out there, likely plotting how to get to me.
“Maybe have someone keep an eye on what he and his group are doing?” I asked finally.
Ryan leaned back and considered me, looking very much like his sister.
“I’ve seen a lot since this all started,” he said. “Especially when things started going to shit in Whiteman. Distrust and hopelessness messed with people’s heads. The steps Matt and June took in Tenacity cleared some of that. We need to remove the rest. That starts here. Now.
“If you hold on to the past, it will blind you to the future we’re trying to build. Instead of holding on to hope, you’ll cling to fear.
“I get that trusting the fey to keep you safe is asking a lot. But I’m doing it anyway. They see hope in women like you. Try to see hope in men like them. It’s the only way we’re going to have a better tomorrow.”
After my introspective discovery the night before, Ryan’s words affected me deeply.
“Are you a prodigy motivational speaker or something?”
He grinned at me.
“You’ve met my mom; I had to hone my persuasive skills young.”
Julie snorted from the other room, and I returned Ryan’s humor even as I dwelled on what he’d said. He wanted me to do more than accept what Turik had been telling me all along as irrefutable—that I was safe here, with the fey. He wanted me to hold on to hope for a better future.
I desperately wanted to, but my old fears clung to me relentlessly.
Having lived with Nat, I knew what he was capable of. He would try to come for me…if he could. And that was where the fey and Ryan might be right; I was letting distrust and fear of Nat cloud my thinking.
Looking for Nat was dangerous at best. Most likely, he was out there struggling to survive, too busy staying alive to worry about me.
“Okay,” I said finally. “How soon are the fey going to want to leave to check the subdivision I found?”
CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
Waitingfor the group to return wasn’t easy. Guilt prodded at me—what if there had been people there? People waiting for a rescue? And instead of looking, we’d run.
“Are you hungry, Shelby?” Turik asked.
I shook my head and glanced at Vorx, who quietly watched me instead of the movie playing. If we hadn’t left when we had, would he even be here right now? I didn’t know the answer to that any more than I would have been able to choose between two lives.
“I’m fine,” I said yet again, curling my legs under me.
The clothes Turik and I picked up from the storage shed were much more comfortable than the thong and see-through shirt, and the collection of underwear and bras in the storage room had been more impressive than a big chain store. Now I not only had plenty of undergarments, but I also had an assortment of leggings, jeans, and sweaters.
Turik caught my big toe between his fingers and gently tugged my leg straight, so my foot rested in his lap. Then he started rubbing.
“You are not fine. You are upset, and we don’t understand why. We can’t help fix the problem if we don’t know what it is.”
“You are so sweet, Turik. I’m worried. It seems to be what I do best lately. Worry about everything.”
“What are you worried about right now?”
“The fey who went out to check the subdivision. I’m worried someone else will get hurt. I’m worried they’ll find people and say that they’re dead because we didn’t stay and look. I’m worried that I’m going to keep making stupid mistakes that cause problems for other people.”
Turik and Vorx grunted almost in unison. After my outpouring, the shared, noncommittal response was too funny not to grin.
“I really like that neither of you are high-strung like me.”
“You are not high-strung,” Turik said, his fingers methodically melting away my tension.
