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Chapter14
Knight
Kennedy spoke. She told me her story. My stomach turned at almost every word. I couldn’t believe it. This was four years ago? Someone took her? Kidnapped her? Was there a ransom? How in the hell did this even happen? I had to contain my anger and resentment—none of it was directed toward her. I tried to listen and not explode.
Finally, she looked up, even though she hadn’t gotten to the end.
I wanted to fold her in my arms and make promises I might not be able to keep, but I knew she had survived without me. Did she need me now? Was that why it was so easy for her to keep me at a distance? My stomach felt as it I had been punched hard. There was a tight knot I couldn’t get rid of .
“How long were you in that room?” I asked. I had tried not to interrupt. I had to force myself to keep my fucking mouth shut.
“A week,” she answered. “I thought it was around six or seven days, but I wasn’t sure until I returned home.”
I swallowed hard. “How did you do it? How did you get through the days?” I still didn’t know how she had escaped. I’d let her tell me at her own pace.
Her eyes lowered. I was scared there was something else she was going to tell me that would rip my heart out.
“The truth?” she posed.
I nodded. “Always the truth. I can take it.”
She pressed her lips together and inhaled. “It’s a little hard to tell you.”
I inhaled, steeling myself for something horrific. “It’s okay. No rush. We have the rest of the night,” I assured her.
She shook her head. “I can already tell it’s not what you think. It was you, Knight.”
“Me?” I leaned a little closer toward her.
“Yes. You.” She shrugged. “I’d lie down on that awful vinyl couch and dream about what it would be like to see you again.”
“You dreamed about me?” I couldn’t believe it.
She nodded. “Yes. It passed the time. What would happen if I saw you again? I used to dream about it. Every night I was trapped in the basement I had dreams about you. Dreams that were so vivid I would wake up, my chest pounding, my heart racing. I thought you were next to me, or maybe had just walked into another room. I think I actually called your name a couple times, or at least I thought I did. Then reality would start to break the illusion. I remembered I was locked in a basement, and my skin would cool, and I’d have to find a way to go back to sleep. I’d try different things. Walk through the dream step by step, trying to make sure I remembered it. Or I’d create a new one. One where I could make sure everything happened the way I wanted to picture it—not some distorted dreamverse where weird characters showed up or the setting was someplace abstract. I had this one fantasy. One that changed in bits and pieces the more time passed.”
“Did it work? Your dream?” I smiled at her.
“It was the only thing that worked.”
“What was it? The dream you had.”
“Do you really want to know?”
“I want to know all of it,” I responded. It was the truth I wanted. Her truth.
“Okay, then. But you can’t laugh,” she warned. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. It seems silly now. This was a long time ago.”
My hands curled over her knuckles as I leaned against her. I squeezed the palm of my hand over hers. “Tell me. Please.”
She nodded. “The one that played over and over in my head was one when we decided to see each other. We needed to. It was better than accidentally bumping into each other somewhere or being our fathers’ pawns. You had moved out of your apartment, but you asked me to meet you there. It was a place we could be alone. Quiet. Private. No distractions. No one would think to look for us there.”
I listened while she explained the dream.
“In the dream, all your things were still in the rooms, just like you had left them. All I had to was open up the windows and doors and it was as if you had never left. You told me where the hidden key was so I could let myself in. I arrived before you did. The sun was starting to set. I left the door open on the balcony so I could hear the music floating up from the street. I unloaded groceries, the things I had brought from the cooler, my favorite bottle of champagne. I knew you would be there soon. I made a cheeseboard because I didn’t know how else to pass the time. I wondered if we would eat all of it, or you would think it was crazy I’d spent so much time making this presentation for you, which had nothing to do with why we wanted to see each other. I poured a huge glass of chilled wine, but only took a few sips. I was worried to drink too much before you got there. I didn’t want to be numb in any way. I wanted to feel everything when I saw you again.”
I could picture everything she described. I wondered if I’d had this dream too. Had it saved me in a dark place? Was she there somehow when I was rebuilding the vineyards and starting over after the fires?
“I heard your footsteps climbing the stairs. I looked up as the door squeaked. I was afraid to look at you. Afraid that I would start crying or laughing, maybe both made sense together. I knew we would look a little different, but somehow still the same. What if I wasn’t who you remembered? I had to stop myself from being terrified. I glanced up. It used to feel like when we were together, we could talk across a room with our eyes and no one would know what we were saying or thinking. That’s how it felt when I saw you. I knew exactly what you were thinking and feeling when our eyes met.
