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"Okay, so bad plan? But in that case, what can we do?"
Sawyer smiles at me, patting my thigh from where he sits beside me, while Asher rubs my shoulders from behind. "This is where we come in," Sawyer says gleefully, like he’s enjoying this. "Our parents tried to sell us off to the highest bidder too, which, obviously, we’re not down for. So what we’re going to do tonight, to take the heat off of you, is tell them as much. And hopefully it causes enough commotion that everybody forgets about your engagement just for one night, so we’ll have more time to come up with a way to deal with Cole’s dad."
He looks so proud of his plan, but I can’t get rid of the twist of worry that slashes through my stomach. "Are you guys sure that's a good idea for you?"
Asher takes the seat beside me and shrugs. "Maybe, maybe not, but there's no way we're going along with their stupid little plan anyway, so it makes sense to save you in the process."
I nod, unsure how I feel about them sacrificing themselves for me, but by the looks on their faces, I know there isn't one damn thing I can do to change their minds. So I take a deep breath, nodding again, and push my chair back.
"I guess I better go get myself ready for this circus of a night then."
The boys all murmur in agreement, and I head up the stairs with Shadow at my feet. It’s going to be one hell of a dramatic evening. I need to find something to wear and I have a feeling that jeans and Converse just aren’t going to cut it.
CHAPTERSIX
Travis
Staring at the ceiling while I lie in bed is getting me nowhere, yet I haven’t moved for hours. Briar and the others left earlier for their exams—I had my last final yesterday—and all I’ve done since is wonder what my life would have looked like right now if my mom was still here.
My dad has always been a dictator, but somehow my mom's warmth made it seem not so bad. It’s impossible to ignore what she must have gone through to make sure I had some semblance of normal.
Because God knows since the day she died, my life has been one giant fucking mess after another.
I'll never forget the day of the funeral, when my father stood beside me with nobody else there because he’d shipped my little sister, Katy, away, and God forbid anybody else knows the insanity that was our lives behind closed doors. God forbid anybody know that he couldn't save her from being taken from us. That the great Chase Kensington was fallible. That there was something he couldn’t beat.
But what that really meant, was that all I had was my sadness and devastation at losing the one person who actually gave a fuck about me, at being left with the monster that was my father.
My only solace was that my pops was still around.
He showed up later that day and the screaming match that ensued between him and my dad was legendary. I remember being eleven, sitting in my closet, hands clapped over my ears, tears streaming down my face because my mom was gone and I knew my life was never going to be the same.
My pops came upstairs once the shouting stopped and sat with me in the closet, an arm wrapped around my shoulders, trying to tell me that I’d be okay. That I’d always have him in my corner.
He might be the only person in my life who has never let me down. He really has always been in my corner since that day, which gives me hope for tonight.
The problem is my dick of a father.
Everything I've learned since that day has taught me that I will never live up to his expectations of me. I will always be a constant disappointment, and nothing I do will ever be enough, despite the fact that I continue to try and become everything he wants me to be.
Being his greatest disappointment is something I've come to terms with, yet there is a part of me that still does every single thing he demands of me, striving to finally meet his expectations, because that little boy standing at the side of his mother’s casket just wants to be loved and accepted again. So, if I can win him over, then I’ll have defeated all of the monsters in my life, even without the love of my mother beside me.
I hate that my last memories of her are in her room, hooked up to machines as cancer slowly stole her away from us, watching her day by day, withering away to nothing. Yet the smile on her face and the light in her eyes never dimmed if I was in the room.
It's only since she left that I realized just how much she protected me from my dad. I was just a kid, how was I to know the horrors that really existed behind closed doors? But once she was gone, there was only me to deal with his mood swings, to shoulder his expectations, to bear the brunt of his anger.
I think it's one of the reasons why the boys and I are so close. They became my new escape. My new family, the only people I could trust that understood what it was like to live this life. Cole, especially, because his father is just as much of a monster as mine. To have people that understand the pressures that come with living this sort of life was a game changer for me.
Everybody always says how lucky I am to have the things that I have. And while I don’t disagree, I am lucky in that respect, I would give up everything I have tomorrow for a semblance of a real family, for the warmth and love that I see in other families.
To have my mom back.
Instead, with the privilege that so many are jealous of, all I have is a dictator telling me what my life should be, and me constantly not living up to any expectation he has of me.
But now Briar is caught up in this mess and I don't know how to fix it. Every single fiber of my being wants to save her from the monster that he is, from everything her mom has put her through, even though I still don't even know the full scale of that.
All I know is what the private investigator file for them both says, but we both know that there are some things even a PI can’t uncover. Like the things that created the darkness I see behind her eyes.
While I know about her sister, I know that alone is not the reason for the terror she feels. For the fear that appears in her eyes when she’s cornered. And I don't know if anybody else sees it, but I see it. I've seen it since the moment she stepped into that kitchen and was faced with the reality of our new situation.
