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“Just drive south, and I’ll find us a hotel along the way.”
My hands tremble, adrenaline leaving my body, but I choke the steering wheel, and nod at Nova.
seventeen | nova
I find a quaint,if not shabby, roadside motel a mile outside Salem’s city limits because the longer we’re on the road, the more agitated Devin becomes. A quiet rage simmers beneath the surface of his beautiful face. Slowly leeching from him in the clenching of his jaw and the white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel.
His transformation tonight was startling. One moment we were laughing about a video he scrolled by online, and the next, he shifted into panic mode as Tara’s house came into view.
Tara.
The things Devin said she did… My stomach rolls. How does that woman live with herself? I hate that I felt sorry for her after learning of her husband’s death. Damian was a victim, just like his father. Ugh, I want to throw up.
“She gave these long hugs. They made you feel protected.” Devin’s hands drop to his lap as we sit in front of the Motel’s office. The neon vacancy sign flashes across his face. “After Mr. Green was killed, we needed that. We were terrified the man who robbed the gas station would come for us.” A sardonic grunt fills the air as he stares out the windshield. “We were nine. God, I remember her climbing into bed with us once not long after…to protect us, she said.”
Nausea unfurls in my stomach. His palm strikes the dash, and I jump as he curses.
“How did I not see?” Grief twists his mouth. “How did I not remember?”
Grabbing his hand, I cradle it to my chest and lean over the console. “Because you were a child, Dev.” I tug, urging him to focus on me. “You’d just lost not one but two men you considered fathers. How were you supposed to understand?”
Wetting his lips, he rolls his head my way. Studying me intently, Devin flattens his palm against my chest and drags it up. The warmth of his skin grazes my collarbone and continues up my neck, his fingers wrapping behind while his thumb traces along my vein, applying pressure like he’s taking note of my accelerating pulse.
“Dev?” My voice is hoarse, unrecognizable.
The frayed edges of his stare burrow into my skin, a troubled yet heated light in his eyes. “Why do you make me feel this way?” My scalp stings as his fingers curl into my hair, tugging. “No other girl, Nova. No one has made mewantto touch her.”
Inhaling a shaky breath, I tremble under his confession. “Devin, maybe this isn’t—”
His eyes rise, piercing mine. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”
Unease has me holding him at bay with a palm to his chest. “Maybe we should, though. Seeing her, what happened tonight must affect you.”
Devin falls back against the seat with a growl. “Of course, it affected me. I’ve been sitting with Damian’s confession for two months, Nova. His words were a loaded gun I never knew to avoid. No matter what I do, I can’t go back to before I opened his package and saw the truth. I can’t unlearn what I’ve learned.”
Tears burn my eyes.
“What I can do is have this moment with you. I can keep lying to myself about what I know, about what she did, but I don’t want to lie to myself about you. Not anymore. Not tonight.”
Maybe it’s wrong to pretend everything is fine, to allow him to run from emotions he obviously can’t contain, but as I fist his shirt with a nod and meet him halfway, I don’t care. “Then touch me,” I all but beg, giving into his request. Giving into whatever has had us teeming with lust for the past eleven days.
Uttering a curse, Devin sweeps into my willing mouth, swirling and rubbing my tongue with his. A rough groan vibrates his chest.
This kiss isn’t sweet. It isn’t asking permission. It’s claiming. It’s taking what it wants.He’staking what he wants. And he wants me. Every moment since we met has led to this. The flirtations, the unprovoked jealousy, the mutual attraction. I wanted an adventure this summer but never knew Devin Hawthorne would be it.
Having contained ourselves for the time it took to check in, we burst into room eight with all the chill of two horny teenagers, hands pawing, clothes dropping, the bed groaning as our combined weight crashes. There’s little foreplay, even fewer words. Nothing but a craving only the other can fulfill.
I want him. He wants me. What more do we need at this moment?
“Are you sure?” Devin manages to ask, tearing open a condom package with the edge of his teeth. I guess Willa’s gift will come in handy after all.
My gaze settles on him kneeling between my thighs in the dark room, the aroma of stale cigarette smoke and commercial cleansers tickling my nose, and my insides clench. “The day of our video call I almost canceled this trip.” Keeping my eyes on his shadowed face as he secures the protection, I continue, “You connected the call before you were totally ready, and in those fifteen to twenty seconds that I watched your profile, I knew there was no way I could ever not be attracted to you.”
Grinning, his knees inch forward as he slides a hand from my knee to my hip. “Are you sure, Nova? I need your words.” His eyes never leave mine, and I swallow.
“I’m positive.”
My heels dig into his backside, and his lips feather across mine as he situates himself between my legs. Little nibbles, the touch of his tongue, the inhale of his breath, we become closer. Our bodies fusing inch by inch while his molten brown gaze holds mine hostage.
