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Deep inside, I feel a little boy yelling at me. It’s the kid I was when locked in my bedroom, rock music blasting in my ears, my body sore from pushups, and my mind just as sore from all the math.
The kid’s telling me not to ruin this, my first chance at real happiness, telling me to take my time, so I don’t explode it all.
But my thumb moves rapidly, dragging the need from deep within.
You belong to me in every way a man can belong to a woman, Della. I’ve been trying to stop pushing too hard. But I can’t hold this back. I’ve already hinted at so much, and I don’t think it would be fair not to tell you it all…
Everything you are, everything you’re going to be, it’s mine. Your perfect curvy body, your bright, curious mind, your emotions, your heart… I want everything with you. I want a family. I want kids.
That wasn’t just talk before. I want a house and a marriage, and a life together.
The first time I saw you, you were on a bus driving past me. I knew right then. There was no doubt. It was instant.
I saw you, and I said to myself, I need her. I need to have a family with her. She’s mine…forever.
I knew it without even having to think about it.
I knew you were mine. I’ll never stop knowing it.
I click send, then watch her as she reads it. Her body tightens beside me, her hand moving across my belly. Her fingernails, digging through my shirt and against my abs.
It’s like she wants to hold me there…
As if I’d ever leave her.
When she finishes the message, she looks up, tears sliding down her cheeks.
She leans forward, her lips pursed, and I know what she wants.
Does this mean she feels the same?
Whatever the case, it’s not like I’d turn down a kiss from my woman.
Our lips meet with what feels like fresh heat infusing them. I can feel her tears as our passion gives us the sensation of melting into each other.
My hands don’t go to her legs, to her breasts.
It’s just the kiss, the affection imbuing every moment of it.
“Does this mean you feel the same?” I whisper once it breaks off naturally.
She glances at the door, then back to me, biting down.
When she picks up her phone, I sit back, watching her as she texts. Her eyes shine with fresh tears, a blush moving up her neck and over her cheeks.
I try to tame the nerves bursting up inside of me.
It’s similar to when I had a fight in my amateur boxing career, a close call, waiting for the referee to tell us who won.
Similar….
Except ten, twenty, a hundred times more intense.
When my phone finally lights up, I pick it up quickly, squeezing it so hard I have to remind myself to be careful so I don’t break this one, too.
I was going to ask if you’re telling the truth, but I’m done with that. I’m going to tell you how I feel…and hope this is real. Pray for it.
I saw you from the bus the same day you saw me, Eli. And I wanted you too. I wanted to be with you. I wanted a family. I wanted a future and a house full of happy laughter and little footsteps.
