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Ivy
James comes tearing into the kitchen, stopping just in time to avoid ramming into his mother, who is sliding the meatloaf into the oven. His younger brother, Liam, does not possess the ability to stop his little legs on time. He runs smack into his mother, almost knocking her down.
“Jeff!” my sister Molly shouts, “shouldn’t the boys be taking their bath?”
“In a minute,” my brother-in-law shouts from the TV room.
Molly lets out a stream of curses while bodily evicting the boys from the kitchen toward the stairs.
“I swear, that man,” she mutters under her breath as she returns to the kitchen.
I stare at the annoyance on my sister’s face, once a hundred percent identical to mine. The stress of marriage and children has added lines to her face that were not there before.
She and Jeff met when they were both in college, and they were the most in-love couple I’d ever seen. They had reinforced my belief in meeting the perfect person, your soul mate. Except that in the last couple of years, they behaved as though they merely tolerated each other. Gone were the long lingering looks and the secret jokes that only the two of them understood.
“Come on, boys, let’s go take that bath,” my brother-in-law says from the other room, sounding tired, even though it’s only six in the evening.
Blissful silence descends on the kitchen and adjoining living room.
“We’d enjoy more of this peace if Jeff kept to the schedule we set up,” Molly says as she stacks the dishes in the sink.
I stare at her back and remember when she could gush about how hot, sexy, and fun Jeff was. It’s difficult to believe that she’s the same person. It saddens me to see them like this.
“Do you love each other anymore?” I ask her softly.
She goes still and then turns around to face me. She wears a look of such sadness it pulls at my heartstrings. “I don’t know.”
“Why not separate then?” I ask her. We’ve never had this conversation, but I’ve always wanted to ask her. It seems obvious to me. If you’re not happy with someone, then move on and go separate ways. It’s better than making each other miserable.
Her eyes widen in surprise. She looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Separate? We have kids.”
A shudder goes through me. I imagine myself in my sister’s shoes for a few seconds, married to a man I no longer loved but forced to remain with him because of the children.
“Anyway, enough about me,” Molly says and comes to sit next to me. A soft look relaxes her features. “How are you feeling? Any morning sickness yet?”
“Does it kick in immediately? It’s only been three weeks.” The fertility clinic has confirmed that I’m definitely pregnant, but I don’t feel any more pregnant than I did a month ago.
“I was sick as a dog both times,” Molly says. “I hope your luck holds out and you have a stress-free pregnancy.”
“I’m counting on it being stress-free so that I can write.” I wink at Molly, and then I remember why I wanted to see her.
“You’re sweet to do this for Susan and Mike,” she says. “If you hadn’t offered, I would have.”
“Really?” That surprises me, considering how much Molly complained during each of her pregnancies.
To think that she would have offered to carry a baby for her best friend.
She nods. “It’s only for nine months, and she and Mike have been so miserable. Losing all those pregnancies couldn’t have been easy. I’d have done it for Susan.”
I swallow the guilt that rises up my throat. I wish I were as sweet and kind as my sister. I wish my reasons for agreeing to carry Susan and Mike’s baby were a little nobler. The only reason I agreed to be a surrogate mom to the Clarks was that it was the one and only way of finally reaching for my dreams. More than anything, I want to succeed as a writer.
With the stipend they will pay me for my living expenses while I carry their baby, I’ll finish my book while my agent queries publishers. It had sounded so easy and uncomplicated when the Clarks and I reached our agreement.
Except, it had been anything but easy since then. Complication after complication had arisen. First, it turned out that Susan’s eggs were not viable. The next option had been to use my eggs, which would mean that the baby was half mine. I refused to think of it that way and had instead focused on the fact that I was helping a couple have the baby they so desperately wanted. Molly had tried to dissuade me, telling me that with the baby being half mine, it would be difficult to give it away when they were born. But a baby is the last thing on my mind. In fact, I think the Clarks are the good luck charm that I needed.
I push away thoughts of the past few weeks and concentrate on the present. A fresh wave of excitement courses through me as I clasp my hands together. “I have some news. Awesome news.”
