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Her flat gaze told me that was a dumb question. “At first, I thought it was just about the house, but he didn’t want to move just anywhere else in Dallas. Then I thought it was just about taking your money, and I’ll admit I did entertain the idea for a while.” She lifted her chin, and her brow furrowed, the breeze sending strands of hair across her lip. “I love Duke. I do. But if he leaves, if you ever stopped paying for this house...”
“I wouldn’t do that to you, Darlene. I wouldn’t do that to James.”
She shook her head. “You’ve said a lot of things you wouldn’t do, and you did. I know things change, and I am sorry for my part in it, but I can’t lose this house. It’s my home.” Her voice trembled. “It’s James’s home.”
I stepped toward her and grabbed her wrists so that she had to look at me. “I willnotdo that to you, Darlene.”
“I did cheat on him.”
“Duke?”
She nodded. “I did have an affair. I cheated on him. But I’m not... It’s not an excuse.” She wiped her eyes. “I thought he was going to leave me, and I...”
“Does he know?”
She nodded. “He left. He said he needs time.”
I stared at my black shoes, wishing I could get the next words out of my mouth, but Darlene seemed to know my thoughts.
“I didn’t cheat on you with Duke. This is the first time.”
I nodded but decided not to linger on it. It didn’t matter now, but it was good to know either way. “Do you think he’ll come back?”
She dipped her head while she contemplated the question, then finally the shrug told me she wanted to drop it. “I realized when you took James the other day when you spent the day with him... I know I’ve been part of the problem. You’ve never done anything to hurt him and never tried to hurt me. I want to fix this.”
“Me too. We both took the wrong turn somewhere.”
Another tear fell, but it came with a hopeful smile that warmed my heart. So many times I’d let things Darlene said get to me. All either of us really wanted was to give James a good life. We’d messed up by not making sure things were good between us, but it didn’t mean we’d failed. We still had time. We could still get back on the right path.
Darlene invited me in, and James was passed out on the couch while animals talked on the TV. We both watched him for a while, admiring the peace on his face, but I stared at the dinosaur clutched between his small fingers, pressed against his chest like he never wanted to let go of it.
“He was crying when I picked him up from daycare. Apparently, he’d been crying on and off all day because he forgot his Rawr.”
I buried a chuckle behind a smile. “I feel bad that I didn’t realize he’d left it.”
“He was so happy when we found it in the mailbox. He thought you’d left and sent it in the mail. Like a letter.”
I brushed the tear that had spilled over my eyelid. “I need to be better.”
She touched my arm, her voice a low whisper. “We both do. Take him to bed? I’ll make some coffee.”
“A bit late for coffee.”
She hummed. “Either that or vodka.”
I’d had enough of alcohol for a while. “Coffee sounds good.”
I lifted James, and his dinosaur came with him. A soft snore escaped him as I pulled his heavy head against my chest and walked him up the stairs. I’d let go of this life, this normal, but we’d get back to it. Things would look a little different for us, but with each step up the stairs, I felt more hopeful that we could get there.
He still had his green dinosaur comforter, which I peeled back, then pulled over him after setting him down. He barely moved when his head hit the pillow, but I stood there and watched his little form, listening to the precious sounds of his breathing.
This was the life I chose. This was the life I’d fight for.
I wasn’t sure why Christie entered my mind just then, but a part of me wished she were standing there with me, seeing the beautiful human I’d taken part in making and telling me that things would be okay again. I’d have to try calling her again. I’d call her until she answered, and I’d apologize until she let me prove it. That was my next goal.
When I finally made my way back down the stairs, Darlene was waiting. The lights were on, the TV was off, and two hot cups of coffee waited on the black coffee table. I remembered when she bought that thing. I didn’t think it was worth the cost, but to her, it was what would make the living room look more put together. We had a lot of stupid arguments about things like that.
“You gonna sit?”
