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James kept giggling as he bounced on me, and I clutched his red head against my chest reveling in all the joy that bubbled up through my body. I’d seen him just a couple of days ago, but it felt like new again, like I’d been missing his love for weeks.
“Did you stay the night, Daddy?”
I pulled back so I could see his face and the light color of his hazel eyes. His pink-tinged skin and sleepy gaze were definitely that of a happy little boy. Or I hoped so. James was so full of life, hope, and wonder, and I’d never wanted our divorce to take away any of it. I’d never forgive myself for getting so caught up in work when this boy needed my time more than anything else. But it was time to let all that go and time to live for the future.
Darlene walked in with a fresh cup of coffee, which I accepted with much gratitude and even more care since a four-year-old had decided to bounce on my lap as she handed me the cup.
“James, get off Daddy,” Darlene said. “He’ll spill his coffee.”
I took a careful but successful sip and made a humming sound as the warm, bitter flavor pooled across my tongue. “Nah, he’s fine. Just missed his daddy, right?”
James nodded vigorously and kept right on bouncing. I smiled at Darlene, but the smile fell when I realized I was on the end of her scolding look.
“What? I’m just saying.”
She rolled her eyes. “I might need to sign you up for classes on discipline. First lesson, don’t undermine a parent’s decision.”
“What if it’s my decision, though?” Her glare told me I needed to stop. Here we were again, back to disagreeing. “Just saying, I’m a parent, too.”
Darlene folded her arms across her chest, but the motion sent coffee splashing out of her cup, and it hit her arm. She groaned and set the mug on a coaster while she returned to the kitchen, stretching her shirt sleeve far away from her skin the whole way there.
I joined James in giggling after her. “Mommy made a mess, huh?” I said, letting her little lesson ingrain itself in my mind. We’d never been on the same page as parents, but I supposed I needed to be the one to take on the bulk of that responsibility. In all this time, she’d been the mother. I needed to relearn what life our son lived and make sure we not only met halfway but kept things consistent.
“Okay, buddy,” I said, bumping my knee to stop James’s momentum and grabbing him under his armpits to help him slide off my lap. “You heard Mommy. No bouncing with hot coffee around.”
“You’re not even drinking it,” he argued.
I took a sip and set the coffee on its own coaster. “No, but coffee is hot. If you bounce around—see how it got Mommy?”
He nodded.
“It’ll get you, too, if you’re not careful.”
“Hot coffeeburns,” Darlene added as she walked back into the living room, flapping her stained sleeve while heading toward the stairs. “I’m going to change my shirt; then I have to drop him at daycare … I guess we have to get my car first. We can put his old car seat in your truck. It should still fit him. It’s in the garage.”
I checked the time on my phone. My battery was almost dead, but it was half past nine. On a normal day, I’d already be in Waco fixing everything that went wrong when the week first started, but today it was Roger’s job, and if it were too much for him, hopefully, he’d do what he needed to and hire someone instead of calling me. I’d said as much. It was time for a change.
“Wanna play while Mommy gets dressed?” I eyed James, only to realize he was in a pair of blue pajamas with green dinosaurs and white stars dancing around the fabric. “You’re not dressed, either!”
“Pajama day!” Darlene called from upstairs.
“Pajama day? They want you to go to school in your pajamas?”
James nodded and stretched out his shirt from the hem while he stabbed at a green tyrannosaurus on the side of his stomach. “This one is Rawr! He’s my favorite.”
My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard and for so long. “Oh yeah? Like the toy I gave you?”
“Mm-hmm!” Another hard nod.
“Be careful, or your head might fall off if you nod too hard.”
“No, it won’t!” James took on a challenging stance; his feet spread wide while his arms formed a weird arc around either side of his body. “Itwon’tfall off, Daddy.”
“Yeah?” I raised an eyebrow. “Well, do you get to take your toy to daycare?”
“Toys aren’t allowed.”
I nodded in understanding, then pointed to his feet. “What about shoes? Don’t you still need to wear shoes to daycare?”
