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“Yeah?”
“How about lunch instead?”
With a piece of toilet paper Christie had taken from the bathroom, she wiped under her eyes, her mouth open in what looked like a yawn as she slowly moved the paper under her eyelid. She looked at what she’d captured before answering. “I’m busy.”
My amusement turned into a flat comeback. “Busy sleeping?”
“Busy preparing.”
“I wanted to ask you about that,” I said, rising to my feet. She took a step back, and it took everything in me not to jump at her to prove I wasn’t some germ. “Did you really accept that job?”
“Why?”
When I took a step toward her, either she didn’t catch it or didn’t care. “Because I don’t want you to put yourself in a situation you’ll regret.”
“Well, this morning was my first meeting, and it went fine. So thanks for your concern, but I don’t need it.”
“Don’t you, though?”
“Why the hell would I?” Her hot glare shut my mouth quickly.
“That came out wrong. I’m sorry.” She just shook her head and threw the toilet paper in the bin beside her. “I just mean that we left each other in a bad place, and I know that’s not where I want to be. Do you?”
“You showed your true colors. I can’t help that.”
“You know that’s not true. Christie, you know that isn’t who I am.”
“Do I?” Her body stiffened like a twig, ready to break apart at the slightest hint of pressure. I didn’t want to watch her fall apart, and I didn’t want to be the reason for it. “You wanted to sue her. Does she know about that?”
“She does, and because of what you said, I had already decided I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to do it in the first place.”
“Then why did you even think about it.”
“Because I was scared!” Christie froze, though I wasn’t sure whether it was because of my tone or my truth.
I exhaled slowly and took another step toward her, but she shied away and chose the only chair in the room by the desk near the window. I sat on the bed as close to her as I could, willing her to give me that chance to explain. “Christie, I thought she was going to take him. I listened to the wrong person and thought she would make moves to take him away from me. Permanently.”
“Why would you think she’d do something like that?”
“Because I deserved it. I wasn’t the father I needed to be—I’m still not. Christie, please, understand that I’m not a perfect person. But damn it, I want to try to be better. And seeing you—being with you—has made me feel more optimistic about who I can be for my son and myself. For the people around me.”
I’d earned her attention and settled my hands over hers, which were folded over each other on the wooden armrest.
“Darlene and I came to an agreement. I have so much to work toward, but I’m doing it. I’m doing everything I can to be a better father and a better person to Darlene.”
“Okay,” she said, questions dancing on the tip of her tongue, but what she ended up saying made me feel less hopeful than I’d felt just a moment before. “Then do that for them.”
“Will you go to lunch with me?”
She shook her head sadly. “Why?”
My head dipped as I fought the urge to slam it against her chair, but I settled for touching my forehead to my knuckles and lifting it with another breath. “Please, Christie. If for no other reason, let it be my way of saying thank you. For being my advocate, and Darlene’s, despite us both being two strangers you never knew.”
Christie searched my eyes, my face, but I wasn’t sure what she was looking for. I wished I could just flood her with everything so she’d know and believe what I felt, what I wanted—so she’d know that I was starting to feel like she was someone I needed in my life. If this was my last chance to show her my intentions, I wanted to make sure she heard my heart.
“Okay,” she finally said, though her defeated tone didn’t make me feel good about it.
Christie returned to the bathroom with clothes and dressed quickly, but she didn’t put any makeup on. That was all well and good with me. It meant I didn’t have to wait as long, and she looked gorgeous either way.
