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“Yeah. And that hurt even more. That I couldn’t get mad at him without being upset over it.”
“Because you’re a better person, Kendra. And all those burdens you’ve carried for years when you were too young to do it are still there. Stop doing it. Your mother doesn’t need you to baby her. She isn’t asking for it. Maybe I’m overstepping myself and I’m trying to give you space to figure it out on your own. It’s not my business and it’s your mother.”
“It is your business,” she said. “I’ve heard it enough from my mother that I need to live my life. That she is fine on her own. I know she’ll never be able to do everything she used to. I’ll still have to be there for her.”
“But she can do most things on her own. She has friends. She can call cabs, she can have food delivered too,” he said. “Not that I think she needs to do that or you ever will let her, but if she had to, she’d figure it out.”
“She would,” she said. “And that is what Jolene said to me at the end of our conversation. That my father getting hurt didn’t remind me what a dick he was as much as it showed how strong my mother and I are. It made me see things in a different light. Things that were right under my nose.”
“My aunt has a way of doing that. She did the same to me,” he said.
“What did she make you see?” she asked.
“That everything in life doesn’t have to be mapped out and researched. Analyzed for the right timing or perfect chance to do something. You said you needed space and I could have given it to you. I was going to. But then she pointed out actions speak louder.”
“So you came here because of your aunt?”
“No. I came here for you. I wanted to be here last night. Or have you with me. But you asked for space and I was giving it to you. Then I realized it wasn’t making me happy and I wondered if it was you.”
“It wasn’t,” she said. “I figured you’d need space to think things through too. To think if you wanted this to continue.”
He shook his head. “It never crossed my mind that we wouldn’t continue. Did it yours?”
“No,” she said, her voice catching. “Or I was hoping it wasn’t for you because I want it to continue. And we do think alike on so many things.”
“Which means we’ve both been stupid this week.”
“That might sum it up the best,” she said. “I’m sorry, Ivan. I’m sorry I didn’t always believe in you. Or that maybe I didn’t believe in myself.”
“You need to believe in yourself,” he said. “And don’t be sorry. We all make mistakes. I’ve made a lot in my life. But I’m not going to make another. I’m not going to let you do this on your own. Your mother won’t either. There is no timeline on things.”
“Your aunt thinks there is,” she said, smiling.
“Too bad. She isn’t us. We are doing it our way. I’m here for you always. I’m in your corner. And if your corner is here and mine is across town, then so be it.”
“You’d be okay with that?”
“For now,” he said. He had to be honest. “I’d like to think it won’t always be that way. You did say before you were open to moving, but there were things to consider. I’m one of the best there is when it comes to researching options and analyzing them.”
She started to laugh and then threw her arms around his neck. “Yes, you are. You’ve taught me more than a thing or two. And, no, I’m not going to live in this tiny apartment forever. Where I go, or when, or how, those things are up in the air, but I know there are lots of options.”
“And we’ll figure them out together,” he said, kissing her on the forehead.
“We will,” she said softly.
Epilogue
Seven months later
“Happy Valentine’s Day,”Kendra said to Ivan.
They were at his house just like they were last year for their first Valentine’s Day together.
“You too,” he said. “It smells good in here. What did you make?”
“Lasagna. I know you love it,” she said.
She’d taken the day off of work so that she’d have this ready for when he got home. She wasn’t living with Ivan full time, but she spent more time here than her own house. Probably five out of seven days a week.
