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“I’m not ready for it,” she said firmly.
Her mother’s smile dropped. “I know you’re not. I’m only picking on you. You move at your own pace. But if you like him, then you should do what you want and not follow some rules you’ve set up for yourself either.”
“Why would you say that?” she asked.
“Kendra. You always have rules and guidelines in your life. You have them with me. It’s fine. It works for us, but I push back when I think you are excessive.”
“Life is easier with rules,” she said.
“Life isn’t always meant to be easy. You learn when it’s hard. Lighten up and enjoy things. You’re only young once. Stop trying to be fifty at twenty-eight.”
It wasn’t the first time her mother had said those words to her. “I’m trying. I listened to what you said this week.”
“So you saw Ivan naked?” her mother asked with her grin back in place.
She laughed because she knew it was teasing more than anything. It was her mother trying to get her out of her shell.
“No. But I sure the hell wanted to and that was something.”
“Good for you. Go with your gut. You had a good time?”
“The best,” she said.
“Then that is all that matters. Why don’t we both get some sleep and we can cook dinner together tomorrow? Unless you are going to spend time with Ivan?”
“No. He’s going to his parents' for dinner. I’ll talk to him later on I’m sure.”
She left to go to her apartment and fought the urge to help her mother lock up for the night. Her mother could do it on her own as she did nightly.
She did have to learn to let go. And that meant in all aspects of her life.
14
Get Over It
“You’re leaving work early?”
Ivan turned to look at Cynthia as she’d asked that question. The two of them had worked together for a few years as colleagues and now he was her boss.
He’d thought it’d be awkward at first when he was promoted, but everyone seemed to follow his lead.
He looked at his watch. “It’s four thirty,” he said. “That’s not early.”
Cynthia had hitched her purse on her shoulder. She was leaving her cubicle as he walked past her workspace from his office.
“For you it is,” Cynthia said with a big toothy grin. She’d been doing that more and more lately and he’d been sidestepping it faster than a snake slithering in front of him on the sidewalk.
There wasn’t much he could say to that comment. It was true. He rarely left work on time. He was usually the last one out the door but no later than six. Most times a little after five.
He didn’t stay all that much later than most, but he sure wasn’t rushing when the clock struck leaving time.
He'd rather go home and work, which was what he tended to do at times. If there was a lot to do it was easier to take that mental break, go home and workout, shower, eat some dinner and then tackle projects with a fresh mind.
Work would be picking up again soon and he knew it. The first of the year was always busier so he was trying to get some time in before that.
Time to spend with his new girlfriend that not many knew about.
He felt guilty about that, but since Kendra was thinking the same way as him toward it he wasn’t going to let it bother him too much for the moment.
