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“Haven’t we walked this path before?” I ask, exasperation rushing in. “Isn’t that the very core of your argument? We have to choose a different path? Try something new?”
He whirls around and the grin is swept away by rage. His face contorts as he sputters.
“You think I like this?” he yells. “That it is easy?”
I take a step back in surprise. The raven caws while flapping its wings and rising into the air. Dugald’s hands are clenched into fists at his sides, and he trembles with barely held emotion.
“Dugald, I—”
“You have no idea what this—what you are doing to me?”
He turns and storms away with long strides.
“Dugald, wait,” I reach out, but he’s gone too far already.
A sick sensation consumes my guts. I didn’t expect this, another misprediction on my part. He shows no signs of stopping so I run after him. When I catch him, I grab his shoulder and he stops but doesn’t turn around.
“Quinn, let me go.”
He speaks softly, hardly a whisper, but in his voice is despair. Pain so deep it echoes inside my own soul.
“Dugald, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You never do,” he says.
“Stop that. Don’t tell me what I ‘always’ do. I don’t remember any of it. I don’t know if it’s real or some dream you’ve built for yourself. All I know is what is now, here.”
He bows his head further and his shoulders hunch. My words hurt him, but I can’t hold them back. He throws this history between us around and it’s a sack of stones. I can’t think with what I don’t know. I step around to stand in front of him. When he looks up the fire glistens in his eyes.
“You have no idea how hard you make this.”
I touch his smooth cheek. My fingers tingle as they contact his warm skin. Interest if not desire swells. There is a hint of familiarity to the way he feels. More, there is an echo in my heart that resonates with him.
“Show me.”
It’s an offer and a dare, even if I don’t know a dare for what. Defiance of all that I know, all that he remembers, and of my being forced to choose. We stare into one another’s eyes. The frozen members of the clan forgotten as the mists surge.
He frowns and, feeling bold, I trace his lips with the tip of my finger. He’s leaner than Duncan, but every bit as handsome. It’s not hard to imagine a lifetime where I did love him. I don’t deny I find him attractive or that there is a spark in my heart when he is near.
I’m playing with fire. I know it. He knows it. Only problem here is I don’t know if I care. All I wanted was to get back to Duncan, hopefully in time to save the MacGregor clan. I didn’t make it. I want to explore my feelings with Duncan, but I also want time.
Marriage. That’s a big step. It’s not an exploration, it’s a commitment. One I’m not sure I’m ready to make. I brush stray hairs away from Dugald’s eyes. His lips purse, his jaw clenches, then the raven cries.
He grabs and pulls me into an embrace, then his lips are on mine. Sparks explode into raging flames that consume thought. His lips are soft, yet insistent. His kiss is primal, desperate, and passionate. I never want it to end. I meld myself against him, wrapping my arms around his neck and returning the kiss.
Stop this. It’s wrong.
I don’t. I hike my leg up and hook it over his. His hands drop to my ass and squeeze. His tongue pierces my lips and I moan into his mouth. I’m flashing hot and cold at the same time in a confusing mix. Desire down my spine and I’m wet. Ready.
Suddenly Duncan is in my thoughts, and I can’t do this. I push Dugald away and he is gentleman enough to not resist. We stare at one another, panting heavily, then he touches his lips, rubbing his fingers over them as if he’s trying to seal in the taste of my lips.
“This is wrong,” I say, trembling.
“Yes.”
Neither of us move, but as time passes my heart rate slows and my breathing normalizes. As the adrenaline and the rush of attraction fades, I’m left with the cold, hard reality. Duncan is the man I’ve chosen. My choice was made long before this moment and I’m not going to change it because of some physical urges.
The decision must be on my face or in my eyes because Dugald’s face falls. He drops his eyes, then nods. He doesn’t move any further, but he doesn’t have to. The clan remains, frozen in the moment, waiting for my answer.
