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I slash one hand violently through the air, cutting him off with it as much as my words. His eyes widen and he takes a step back. Now the look on his face is every bit as hurt as the one on Dugald’s was when I said yes to Duncan’s proposal.
Alone. As I deserve. Killer.
A tremor streaks down my spine and I turn, unable to confront the pain I’m causing. Maybe being the Destroyer really means I hurt those who try to love me. Is this to be my legacy? Is this why no one can tell me the true nature of my power and abilities?
I walk backwards until I stumble then turn and run. Duncan yells my name, but I ignore him and he doesn’t give chase. Wind burns my cheeks as I run, and the entire time the raven won’t stop screeching. It’s as if the damn thing is screaming inside my head. I don’t know what it’s trying to say, and I don’t care. I only wish it would stop.
I trip over my thick skirts. The ground races up and I thrust my arms forward to try catch myself. My hands skitter across the ground and sharp pain brings me to my senses. I climb to my feet, inspecting the dirt and grime now embedded in my palms. I untuck the edge of my blouse and wipe the worst of it off.
Looking back, I don’t see any sign of Duncan. He’s left me to my own devices. Part of me instantly regrets my own stupidity and irrationality, but only part. The other part remains indignant. I’m not some meek maid to be kept home and protected. I’m a warrior in my own right and I’ve proven as much. How could he even think I’d be happy with such a simple life?
Huffing, still angry, I walk instead of run. The standing stone I spotted earlier isn’t far away, so I walk towards it and try to let the anger go but it’s hard. Real hard. I want to be angry because it’s a cover; the anger occludes my doubt and fears.
Have I made the right choice? Can I really stay here, out of my own time? If I do, what happens to the Fae? Am I running away from the choice they say I must make? Have I chosen the wrong man?
As I walk up the hill towards the lone standing stone, mists roll down across the land. Thick, milky white, it covers the ground and hides my feet. As much trouble as the mists have caused in my life, I still find them comforting. They, at least, are familiar, and when the mist is close, magic flows easier.
The standing stone is seven foot tall and worn smooth by weather or perhaps by thousands of hands touching it. It almost looks like a lone finger, curling up out of the earth and trying to itch the sky. I smile at the metaphor of it and thenPurple Hazelyrics pop into my head and I laugh out loud.
“Excuse me while I touch the sky,” I chuckle, letting my hand roam over the stone.
Though it appears smooth, touching it, it’s anything but. The stone reminds me of the pumice things they use when you get a pedicure to get the dead skin off the soles of your feet. Porous and rough but kind of nice too. It’s oddly warm, as if its acting as a battery for the sun’s heat, storing it against the impending winter.
I sigh then press my cheek to it. The warmth is nice and eases the tension in my body. Magical energy flows around the stone. Closing my eyes, it feels so nice as it washes over my skin, soothing the burned feeling inside my body. Maybe this is the purpose of the standing stones? Are they the source of magic itself or do they only mark where it flows strongest?
That’s too big of a question and right now I need a minute. A quiet, peaceful minute to get my thoughts together. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did to Duncan. He doesn’t know any better and wasn’t trying to be mean. Getting angry at him for what he said is like being mad at a cannibal for eating someone. It’s what they do. If you don’t teach them anything different, how will they change?
I push off the stone, square my shoulders, and throw my head back, spreading my arms wide. I take a deep breath of the crisp fresh air and turn a slow circle. The raven’s cawing has stopped, giving me blessed silence. I listen to the wind as it blows through the tall grass with a soft rustling sound. In the far distance I hear the din of thunder, and when I open my eyes I see the storm clouds darkening the horizon. The clouds flash, alive with dancing lightning.
I need to get back. The storm looks like it’s moving fast and I don’t want to be caught in it. I turn to the standing stone and rest my fingertips on it. Bowing my head and closing my eyes I offer up a silent, wordless prayer. For patience, wisdom, self-control; I don’t really know but it feels right. When I touch the stone, I feel connected to something more. As if I’m part of a network, a node in a web of life.
Or something. It could all be something I’m projecting onto it. I wish the Druid was here so I could ask him, but he’s not. I could ask Dugald, but I’m fairly sure he’s sworn me off now. If I’m lucky, I won’t go back to find that Duncan has too. I open my eyes and yawn, exhaustion striking out of nowhere. I shake myself alert and turn to head home.
“Hello, Quinn,” Moira says, stepping around the stone.
ChapterTwenty-Two
I blink,sure that I’m imagining Moira standing there. This must be some kind of a trick. She smiles and shakes her head.
“Yes, Quinn,” she says with a knowing smile that leaves me certain she’s reading my thoughts. “I’ve found you at long last. Didn’t expect you to make it back here this quick.”
“How—” I cut myself off and shake my head. “No, not how. Why. Why are you here?”
“You trained with the Druid; you should appreciate this,” she chuckles, her grin turning wry. “Good question.”
The pain of her betrayal is as fresh as the moment I found out she was Unseelie. I clench my hands and raise a fist as I stomp towards her.
“Why are you here, Moira?” I repeat, biting off each word.
She stares at my fist, then her eyes move slowly along my arm and meet my glare. She doesn’t return it but steps to the side, out of the line of my fist, and shakes her head.
“I’m not here to fight, but we need to talk.”
“You think I’m not done with you too? I’m done with all of you. Seelie, Unseelie, I don’t care. I’ve made my choice.”
“Have you?” She arches one eyebrow. “Will you walk with me?”
“I need to get back to Duncan.”
