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“Sorry,” I muttered again, already leaving the den and making my way through the foyer. I called back to him as he was standing in the doorway, staring at me. “Talk to you soon.”
I closed the front door behind me and got into my car, racing to Point Loma with my heart drumming strong and insistent in my chest.
Chapter 25
Amelia
The apartment was eerily quiet. Larissa was working a night shift at the gym, and Trudy was staying over at her boyfriend’s house. I had been alone since coming home from work early, and I kept trying to find things to do that would distract me from the tears that kept welling up.
Nothing worked.
I had been a weepy mess since seeing my dad and blurting out that I was pregnant.
Never before in my life had I felt this isolated, this scared of the future.
Punctuating the silence, I heard a knock at the door. Three raps, a pause, then two more. It was nearly ten o’clock at night and I wasn’t sure who it could be this late. If it was my dad, I wasn’t ready to talk to him again.
Making my way through the living room and down the entryway, I walked up to the door and peered through the peephole.
Nathaniel.
My heart skipped and began drumming rapidly in my chest. I had been avoiding him ever since I found out I was pregnant. Even though I had promised my sisters I would tell him, I was anxious about it, and hadn’t figured out what exactly to say yet.
I couldn’t deny my body’s reaction to him–just the thought of Nathaniel showing up to my apartment late at night made a liquid heat pool low in my belly, remembering what we had done together at his place, memories of the pleasure and the thrill of it all flooding my thoughts.
Yet I wasn’t sure I could be with him; not like that, not tonight. Not after finding out I was carrying his baby and feeling terrified for what the future held.
Nathaniel waited patiently outside, hands in his pockets, wearing track pants, a black t-shirt and expensive running shoes. I turned the deadbolt and opened the door.
“Hi,” I said, forcing a small smile.
“Hi,” he echoed, his voice quiet and sedate. He wasn’t smiling but his gaze held me captive, flitting from my eyes to my lips, sweeping softly down my body and back up to my face again, a question written in his expression.
“I didn’t expect–” I said, stammering, “I mean, come on in.” I held the door open as he walked into the entryway and shut it behind us.
Nathaniel pulled his hands from his pockets and looked as if he was about to embrace me, just for a moment–his arms lurching forward briefly and then coming back to rest at his side.
“Amelia,” he said, a moment later, “are you pregnant?”
How did he know?
My heart raced and I felt my bottom lip trembling, biting it to keep myself from immediately bursting into tears.
I nodded. “Yes.”
Nathaniel took in a deep breath and let out a shaky exhale.
“How did you know?” I asked. My sisters would never betray my confidence.
“Your father. He called me.”
“Did… did you tell him it’s yours?”
“No.”
I didn’t know what to do. What to say. The torment of not throwing myself into Nathaniel’s embrace, the agony of waiting for him to react in some way other than silence, was unbearable.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out, my thoughts a maelstrom. Nathaniel looked confused, but I plowed ahead. “I’m sorry you had to find out like that.From my father. You must be furious with me.” He shook his head, putting his hands up in the air, but I wouldn’t let him try to deny that he was disappointed. “You must think I’m careless, that it’s all my fault. I told you that night I had an IUD and you trusted me, but I let you down. My IUD failed, Nathaniel. I couldn’t have prevented it. I’m so sorry.”
