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JAMESON
I told Blakely that I didn't need a party, but she doesn't listen.
All I really want is time alone with Ellie and Hanna. Not this party where we're all crammed in the living room. So close that I can literally hear every conversation going on all at once.
Ellie doesn't leave my sight. She's sat right here in my lap pretty much the entire evening. Which sends a satisfying giddy feeling deep inside me, especially since Eric is here.
I know that makes me sound like a jealous asshole, but I don't care.
Hanna wanders over, looking absolutely beautiful. Same as always. She's all done up, her hair in perfect waves, freshly cut, just grazing the top of her shoulders. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like she just gets more breathtaking with time.
"Can we talk?" She asks. Both of her hands pushed into the back pockets of her blue jeans, not doing much to hide her smile.
"Yeah," I agree, lifting Ellie off my lap. "Ellie, why don't you go play with JC. I'll be right back."
She takes off running, and I push myself to a standing position, noticing Eric's eyes on us from across the room. He's in a conversation with Judson, and I start to realize our age difference. Judson is ten years older than me, and Eric has to be at least thirty. He must think I'm still some kid. A twenty-six-year-old fuck up.
We find ourselves in the backyard, the patio heater warming up the January air. It takes me back to the first time I brought her here. It was the first time she got drunk around me. It was cute watching her try and shut down my advances. Not that I would've taken advantage of her, but it was still funny.
"Remember the first time I brought you here?"
Her gaze dips down before her eyes tilt back up to mine. A devilish grin escaping, "How could I forget?"
"It was back before everything blew up," I shake my head at the thought.
"We had a lot of good times," she agrees, "enough to make me almost forget all the bad ones."
I close the gap between us, wanting to be enveloped in her bubble, just for a second.
"Yeah, it didn't take long for me to flip everything on its side."
She doesn't respond, unsure of what to say, so I finish up what I need to say, "You know that nothing that happened was your fault."
It wasn't. She was like an angel back then, constantly showing me grace. She's putting me through hell now, though. Not being able to act on my feelings.
I grab her hand, her eyes never leaving mine. This entire night has been complete torture. Just her presence alone is tormenting to my loneliness. With just this simple touch of her hand, it trudges up all those repressed feelings.
I rub my thumb on the outside of her hand, pulling it up to closer to inspect. I notice Eric's gaze burning through the sliding glass door.
The pain shoots through my entire body as I stare at a diamond on the finger meant for me. I'm literally choking down the bile in my throat, nearly drowning in my own grief.
She yanks her hand away, her eyes wild and unsure. "I was going to tell you."
The tightness in my chest restricts blood flow to my brain, causing all of my natural instincts for fight or flight to take off. I shut it down. I feel the room start to spin, and I cover up my pain with anger.
"I…" shuffling backward, I sit down in fear of my legs not holding me up.
"Jameson, say something."
"I need rights to my daughter."
Shit. That came out wrong.
Hanna fumbles back defensively, "So now Ellie's a piece of property that you need claim on?"
I pull my eyebrows together, "No. I just don't want you and Eric trying to take her away."
"So that's what this is about? You think Eric will be more of a father than you because of this ring?"
