Page 8 of Hollywood Humbug


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“You are a flirt.”

“I’m actually not. I am friendly. I’m from Texas, I grew up waving to strangers from the front seat of my daddy’s pick-up truck. But I don’t flirt. Especially here. Since I’ve been here in California, I’ve been on exactly three dates, one of which was an awards ceremony, and I took my baby sister with me.”

“The other two?” I find myself asking.

“Never made it past dinner on either of them.”

I swallow thickly, then move over to the laptop the studio provided me for the medical records. I roll over to him on the stool, still determined to keep my eyes off his perfect ass.

“How did you even get into this line of work?” I ask him while I click around on the trackpad trying to find his records.

I had done some modeling and it was not my thing. I wanted to do stunts. That was my training, mostly with horses, but evidently that line of work is harder to break into. I was up for a big modeling campaign.” He’s laying with his head on his crossed arms and this his eyes tilt up to me. “It was for tighty-whities. Anyways, one thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was asked to do a butt scene in a huge blockbuster and let’s just say it was the butt that launched my career.”

“But you never had any desire to act? With like your face, or whatever?” I laugh. “That sounds weird, but you know what I mean.”

“I do and no. I never wanted to be an actor. I just came out here to have a bit of an adventure for a little while.” He glances over his shoulder at his injury, then gives me a little grin.

“I’d say you’re doing it.”

Four

MAXINE

Icall my friend Shayla from the car. Shayla was a couple of years ahead of me in med school, and just started working at one of the top plastic surgery centers in the area.

Yes, I know. A plastic surgery center in LA. Seems pretty clichéd, right?

But Shayla is an excellent doctor, who worked her ass off. Since she came from a family who couldn’t afford to pay for her schooling, I figure I can’t blame her for going into an industry that will shower her with money so she can pay off her student loans.

Rather than calling the office, I call her private number, assuming she will let it roll to voicemail. This isn’t the kind of place you can get a last-minute appointment.

To my surprise, she picks up.

“Hey, sweetie. How’s it going in the slums of the movie industry?”

“It’s as horrible as you can imagine.” I clear my throat. “Speaking of my job…”

She laughs. “What can I do for you?”

I quickly fill Shayla in on the situation with Andrew. She clucks her tongue in amusement when I describe his injury andimmediately sees where I am going with the phone call. “I can’t squeeze him in for an appointment today.”

“Darn it. I don’t want to take them to the normal ER, because—”

“Obviously. Who knows what the stitches will look like if you do that. And if this guy’s ass is as amazing as you say it is—”

“I didn’t say it was amazing.”

From beside me Andrew snorts. Loud enough for Shayla to hear, he announces, “It is that amazing.”

Shayla laughs, clearly amused by Andrew’s shenanigans. “Like I was saying, I can’t fit him in here at the office. But it sounds like his apartment is not far from my house, so I’ll swing by after work. A couple of stitches, a tetanus shot, he’ll be good to go in twenty-four hours. No one will ever know I was there.”

“You are an angel.”

“I know.”

“I’ll text you the address once we get there.”

“Sounds good. Keep him off his feet, keep him comfortable, you know the drill. I’ll see you tonight.”

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