Page 10 of Dark Desires


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“It wasn’t her fault,” he said hoarsely, surprising her. “Any man who takes advantage of someone in his employ, then turns her out for it, is no man at all.”

“I wish more people, especially of your class, thought as you do,” she said, shaking her head. “Unfortunately, too many women of my class are used as playthings. And once you’re let go without a reference, there isn’t much you can do as a woman to put food on the table.”

“Too many men of my class are entitled pricks,” he agreed, making her unexpectedly release a snort of laughter, which made him smile as well.

“In any event, when I turned thirteen, my mother sent me to speak with the Countess of Winters. She’d written a letter for me to give the woman and told me I was to ask to be Allison’s lady’s maid.” She shook her head, still a little surprised at her mother’s daring. “It shouldn’t have worked, and I fully expected to be turned away, but once the countess read that letter.... I don’t know what was in it, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to the conclusion that my mother must have known some terrible secret. Something she must have threatened to tell if the woman didn’t give me the job.”

“That was very brave of her,” Drake said, a note of approval in his voice. “Does Allison know that you’re her sister?”

“No,” Heather hastened to reassure him. “At least... I don’t think so.”

“Have you ever thought about telling her? I’m certain that if she knew, she wouldn’t make you keep working as her servant. She’d take care of you. You’re the daughter of an earl, for God’s sake.”

“The bastard daughter of a rapist,” Heather pointed out. “And no, I probably won’t ever tell her. I have no proof. Nothing other than my mother’s word. And while that is good enough for me, I don’t know if anyone else would believe it.”

“I believe it,” Drake said simply. “And I’m certain Allison would as well.”

“Thank you.” She pulled her hand out of his and scrubbed her face tiredly. “Perhaps you’re right, but so much time has passed now... Besides, it’s not as though I hate what I do. I get quite a lot of freedom, am paid very well, and I love Allison. None of this was her fault.”

“What happened to your mother?” he asked gently.

“She was already sick when she sent me to the countess, though I didn’t know it at the time. She died of consumption about six months after I started working for Allison.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, his dark eyes filled with unexpected empathy. “My own mother died in childbirth when I was seven. It’s a loss you never get over.”

As she met his dark gaze, she could see how tired he was. He’d stayed up all night, watching over her, and though it had felt uncomfortable at first, in time it had soothed her quite a lot to know he was here with her.

“You look exhausted,” she told him quietly. “I doubt they plan to come back right away. Why don’t you try to sleep for a while once you’re done eating and let me stand watch? If I hear them unlocking the door, I’ll wake you up.”

He rubbed his eyes tiredly with the back of his hand and then gave a short nod. “All right. But just for an hour or so.”

She could tell he was reluctant to let his guard down, but he also seemed to realize that he couldn’t do anything to get them out of this mess if he was so tired he couldn’t see straight.

She tried not to watch him as he went to the basin of water and splashed some on his face, then unbuttoned his coat and vest, folding them neatly and putting them on one of the chairs. Kicking off his boots, he stretched out on the same cot she’d slept on in just his shirt, breeches, and socks.

She shifted uncomfortably, jealous that he’d been able to make himself a bit more comfortable. She’d been miserable in her starched petticoats, stays, and tight jacket, but had known she could never shed them and still keep even a hint of respectability.

And that wasn’t the only thing making her uncomfortable. Squeezing her legs together tightly, she glanced toward the screen in the corner. It hid the chamber pot, giving some sort of privacy, but she couldn’t imagine actually using it with Drake Blackstone just a few feet away. He’d definitely hear her. All her life, she’d been taught that men shouldn’t have any idea that women actually had to relieve themselves at all.

Somehow, she just had to hang on until he fell asleep. But the situation was growing dire.

Luckily, only about ten minutes passed before he began to snore deeply, his arms at his sides, his broad chest rising and falling in a soft rhythm. For several more minutes, she watched him out of the corner of her eye, but at last, she couldn’t bear it anymore. She surged to her feet, scurrying behind the screen and lifting her skirts with a grimace.

After what seemed like an eternity, she finally finished her business and tidied herself up, praying that Blackstone had slept through that. She didn’t know how she’d ever look him in the eyes again either way. But when she poked her head out from behind the screen, he still appeared to be sleeping and she breathed a sigh of relief. Crisis averted for the moment at least. Unfortunately, she feared that the next time she wouldn’t be so lucky, and she couldn’t imagine doing this while he was awake.

Back at the table, she pulled the basin of water toward her and worked on making herself presentable, not questioning too deeply why she felt the need. She finger-combed her hair and put it back up, rubbed her teeth with a twig of mint from the tray, and scrubbed her face until it felt rosy. But when all that was done, she could only sit back in her chair and gaze across the room at her handsome, sleeping companion.

She was a bit surprised he’d fallen asleep so easily, that he’d trusted her to watch over him, but she supposed that just spoke to how exhausted he’d been. The longest, inky black lashes lay across his high cheekbones, giving him the incongruous look of a child in a man’s body, though she knew he was anything but.

It seemed strange to her that she’d never seen Jacob sleeping, yet she was sharing that intimacy with this man, whom she barely knew.

Tears stung her eyes as she realized she’d never truly known Jacob either.

She’d wanted to. She’d certainly tried. But he wasn’t the man she’d thought he was. And now she might die for her stupidity.

Dashing away the tears, she cursed herself for giving in to such maudlin thoughts. She’d already grieved the hopes and dreams she’d built around Jacob. They hadn’t ever really been about him anyway. She’d just longed so deeply to have someone. To start a family and begin her life instead of spending the rest of it curling Allison’s hair and laying out her clothes.

She’d watched jealously as her friends Allison and Jocelyn had fallen in love with their handsome police inspectors, heard their breathless whispers as they’d giggled about how wonderful the sex act could be with someone you truly loved and who loved you in return.

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