Page 11 of Slowly, All at Once


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“I wasn’t being rude to Lane. I was tolerating you.”

Hot tears pricked my eyes. “Am I really such a horrible person?”

His jaw clenched. “You know why I can’t be around you, Camille.”

I grunted. “And yet, you pushed on my bottom.”

Smugly, he nodded. “Hmm. So that’s it. This could get very complicated, Camille. You, living with me, harboring these secret desires.”

“Please. Been there. You are simply a means to an end.”

His laugh shook. “Well then, I will put you to good use. We should get back to the shop so we can go over the trip plans. We leave Wednesday.”

I sighed and groaned. “That’s in two days.”

“You have a lot to get organized, don’t you?”

“Fine. But I’m not wearing khaki.”

He shook his head and scoffed at me again. The drive back wasn’t as long as the drive out since we no longer had the trailer and no stops to make. But it was definitely more tense.

Inside the shop, Cody was helping a customer with a pair of hiking boots.

“When you’re finished, Cody, let’s go over the plan for the trip this weekend,” he said as he walked past him toward the office. His limp caused him to falter, and he bumped into a clothing rack. He cursed. Angrily, he said, “Camille, grab a pad of paper and a pen.”

I stared in shock at his retreating back. To Cody, I said… nothing. My mouth opened and closed.

A man of few words, Cody shrugged. He handed me the pen and paper, and I went to the office to join Jacob.

Inside the spacious office that looked out toward the back maintenance shed, I put the pen and paper down on the round conference table.

More pictures of Jacob from his years in the NFL hung from the faux wood paneled walls. I crossed the steel blue carpeted floor to gaze up at one of them.

“You were so good, Jacob.” I said softly. I looked at him over my shoulder, smiling sweetly. He was sitting behind his heavy oak desk. He sucked his lips in between his teeth, and nodded.

I looked back at the picture of him in his Seahawks jersey. This photo was taken of him on the sidelines, helmet in hand, yelling at someone on the field. His hair had been buzzed short.

Almost in wonder, I continued, “I loved to watch you play. You were so focused, so fierce. No one could get past you. You were so good…” My throat closed. I swallowed back a tear. That face. That body. “You made everyone believe you, and you alone, could hold back the world.” Even me, I thought to myself. Until he left me.

Seconds ticked by before he responded quietly, “It was a long time ago.”

I inhaled and exhaled deeply. “Yep. A long time ago.”

Not wanting to wallow in self-pity, I took a seat at the table and gripped the pen, “Okay, Boss, tell me what I need to do so I can get this over with.”

He stood, grabbing a few sheets of paper, and slid them over to me. “Here’s a list of clothes you’ll need. Have Mia or Cody help you get everything together.” He tapped a finger on another piece of paper. “This is the agenda. I’ll need help cooking in the evenings and in the morning. Lunch and snacks are usually sandwiches and trail mix.”

“Is Cody going too?” I asked.

“Yes, and he’ll help with setting up tents and securing the rafts.”

I leaned back in my chair, crossed my arms and squinted my eyes at him. “How many people usually lead these trips?”

“Depends on the size.” He grinned, knowing he was evading my question.

“And how large is this one?”

“Enough that we need three people to help.”

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