Page 30 of Slowly, All at Once


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“Of course, darlin. What’s on your mind?”

“Your husband, he passed?”

“He did.”

“Did you always love him?”

She was quiet for a moment. “I did, from the start. And he loved my child like he was his own.”

“Did you have more children?”

“Four more. A houseful.”

“They must miss you right now.”

“Hardly. They have families of their own. I’m happy traveling around. We spent a lot of years building the business. We didn’t have much time for travel.”

She watched me knowingly. “But you don’t want to talk about my life. What’s bothering you?”

“I…” I choked, tears welling in my eyes. “I did something I shouldn’t have.”

I wiped an escaped tear away.

She reached out and touched my hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes and no.” I shook my head to clear my self-pity.

“Does he know what you did?”

I shook my head.

“Well, whatever it was, I’m sure it will be forgiven if you are honest about it.”

“Hmmm.”

I didn’t give Nora any more room to ask questions. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to tell her more.

We sat in silence.

In an effort to pull me out of an emotional meltdown, she asked me if I was badly hurt in my fall.

“I broke my collar bone, and Betty Blue crushed my right hand. I thought that was devastating enough.” She remained silent and I continued. “When I came out of surgery, Jacob looked so angry. I thought he was mad that I’d had a fall. Then he snapped at me, yelling that I could have been seriously hurt. Then he left, telling me he had to get back to Seattle.”

“Oh, sweetheart, he was just scared for you.”

My tears came harder. “But he never called me.”

“Did anything else happen? Anything that would have made him not call?”

I rolled over to my back, and stared at the ceiling of the tent. “I don’t know.” I turned my head and saw that she didn’t believe me but wasn’t going to press for more.

I looked back at the ceiling. “You know, I choked on that same jump in 2016. After that, I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I moved here because my best friend, Mia, and Jacob, were setting up their business. It seemed like a safe place to be. I told myself I just wanted to be near Mia and make a home here, but now I think I wanted to be near Jacob.”

“I’m guessing he wasn’t happy to see you.”

“He was seeing someone else.” I wiped more tears.

“A lot of time has passed since then.”

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