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“I’m kind of tired,” Chels whined.
“Come on!” Kelley drug Chels from her chair, and we watched as they disappeared into the crowd that was still left lingering after the show. The deejay picked up where he left off, blaring some awful ‘80s music again.
“Well, that was obvious.” I laughed. “Kelley can be a little forward. I’m sorry.”
“She looks after you,” J.R. replied. “I can tell.”
I sighed. “She does. She’s always there for me, even forcing me into things I don’t want to do. Like tonight.”
“I’m glad you’re here tonight.”
“Me, too.” I smiled.
4
Present
“Are you sure you’re ready to see him again? Rach, you haven’t spoken to him in almost years, and your plan is to just show up at his house, unannounced, to tell him that he has a daughter?” I can feel Kelley rolling her eyes through the phone. Her tone makes me feel slightly stupid, but she makes a good point. It does sound like a stupid plan, but it’s the only one I’ve got.
“First of all, it’sourhouse. Second, how else am I supposed to tell him about her? I’ve been through every scenario, and nothing seems right. Just showing up is all I’ve got.”
Kelley is quiet for a moment, and then she asks, “What if it doesn’t go well?”
I sigh. “It probably won’t go well, but I can handle him.” I’m not afraid of him. There’s no reason to be. I’m the monster in this picture. Not him.
“Fine,” she says with a sigh. “Well, I’m going to bed. I’ll be at your house at eight a.m.”
“Not a minute later.”
“Night, Rach. Get some sleep.”
“Yep.” I hang up. I doubt I’ll sleep tonight. I don’t think I’ve slept well since I left J.R., but I definitely won’t be sleeping tonight.
5
May 2001
It had been so long since I had been on a date. I usually avoided guys in general and focused on my studies. I was a year away from graduating from the university, and my future was pretty important to me. I had dreams. I worked as an assistant for the CEO of a small consulting firm, but I had dreamed of becoming an author.
Regardless of school being my focus, I had made an exception for J.R. I wanted to go out with him. Get to know him. I wanted to see if my feelings for him were true and not based on some emotion from the night of my birthday. It scared me a little that I had allowed myself to be so completely taken by him. We had exchanged phone numbers and had spoken a good bit since my birthday. They had been good conversations.
I slid on a pair of jeans, a nice top, and a pair of flats. I curled my hair, applied my makeup carefully, and even found a tube of lipstick to glide over my lips. This wasn’t normal for me. I was a bare minimum kind of girl. Light makeup, jeans, and a t-shirt. That night was different, though.
J.R. arrived precisely on time. I swung my apartment door open and found him standing there with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. They were beautiful. My favorite kind of flower—daisies. I wondered how he knew this about me. I blushed slightly as he handed me the flowers with a smile on his face.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I respond, trying not to cut down his compliment. It was a conscious effort. I was not accustomed to receiving flattery. “You look pretty handsome yourself.”
I invited J.R. in while I found a vase for the flowers. He awkwardly stood at the door as I rummaged through my kitchen cabinets. I finally found a large mason jar, and I slid the flowers into it.
“Perfect fit.” I smiled, admiring the daisies.
J.R. and I left my apartment, and like any good gentleman would, he opened the passenger side door for me and helped me into the truck. I tried to control the shaking in my hands, but I was nervous.
J.R. explained to me that he could have taken me out in the band’s van, but he didn’t think the van was anything any female should ever have to endure. I could imagine. Five guys riding across the country in a van? I’m sure the van smelled funny. The thought actually made me a little nauseous.
“So, I know you live here, but I found this little nook a couple of days ago, and I hope you like it. It’s a hole-in-the-wall pizza joint,” J.R. said. “You like pizza?”
