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I look up at J.R., and I see a tear on his cheek. I smile softly as he looks down at me, and then he leans over to kiss my forehead.
J.R. stares at the sonogram image as we walk back to the car. I laugh at him.
“It doesn’t get any easier. Out of all of Knox’s sonograms, I’m not sure I ever really saw her.”
“I see it—the peanut—but I…I just can’t fathom the fact that it’s a human,” he says, finally looking up. “That it even has a heart to beat.” J.R. opens the door to his truck for me.
I turn to face him. “Are you happy?” I ask him with a smile.
“The happiest,” he says to me, and then he kisses me. “And you are amazing. You just laid there, unmoved, while he stuck that…that…whatever that was in your body.”
I laugh at him. “Want to know what he was doing with that instrument while he was in there?”
“No, I don’t.” J.R. laughs.
I slide into the truck and then watch J.R. walk around to the driver’s side, sliding into his seat.
“So, we’ll have a baby in June,” I tell him.
“Seems so far away.”
“It will be a year then. Since I came home.” I point out.
“I can’t think of a better way to celebrate that,” he says. “Do you think Knox will be excited? About the baby, I mean?”
“I think so.” I say, but I am unsure. “What do you think?”
“I think she might have a hard time with it. She only just met me, and she has me all to herself. A baby will change that. She’s intelligent enough to know that fact.”
I hadn’t thought of it this way, but I realize he may be right. I sink back into the seat a little, and I stare out ahead. What if Knox isn’t happy?
“Well, it’s not like we can cancel a pregnancy, so she’ll just have to adjust,” I say.
“Maybe I’ll talk to her.”
“I think that we should both talk to her. I want to be there, too.”
“Fine. We’ll both talk to her,” he says. “You’re right.”
I look out the window, and I watch the trees go by as we pass them. I feel myself sigh. “You leave again next week.”
“I do.”
“We’ll talk to her before then.”
“Okay.”
31
We sit Knox down on the couch. She looks at us with intense curiosity, her big, blue eyes darting between J.R. and me.
“What’s wrong, Mama?” Knox asks me. She looks worried and unsure.
I glance at J.R. He looks at me, and then he takes my hand and Knox’s. I nudge him, giving him permission to start the conversation.
“You know that we love you very much,” he begins. “And you know that your mom and I love each other very much.”
“You’re going to get married,” Knox says proudly.
