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I help J.R. pack the rest of his things. We haven’t spoken in a few minutes, and I’m not sure what he’s thinking about. I’m thinking about how much I will miss him. How Knox is still upset about being a big sister. How I’m not sure how I’m supposed to hold it together while he’s away. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed with hormonal emotion.
“Are you okay, Rach?” J.R. is eyeing me from across the room as he zips his duffle bag.
I roll another t-shirt into his other duffle, and then I zip it up. I look up at him. “I’ll be fine.” I swore that I would never make him feel bad for leaving us, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want him to go.
J.R. walks to me, and he takes my face in his hands. “Don’t lie to me.”
My hands wrap around his wrists, and I look up at him. “I’ll just miss you is all. It was bearable when Knox wasn’t mad at me.”
“She can’t stay mad forever.”
“It’s been seven days. She’s still mad,” I point out.
“Maybe you should take her to the next doctor’s appointment. I can’t be there. It might make her feel important. Besides, it might help if she can see the baby,” J.R. suggests.
This isn’t a terrible idea, and I think it could work. I smile at him. “You are a brilliant, brilliant man.”
J.R. smiles at me. “I know.” He kisses me. “I’ll be back before you can miss me.”
“I already miss you,” I whisper, stealing Knox’s line from the last time he left.
“Knox, come tell your dad bye. He’s leaving!” I call down the hall toward her room. J.R. is packing up the van to leave, and Knox is playing a good game of cold shoulder.
“I don’t want to!” she yells back.
“Knox Rose!” I shout. “You come out right now!”
J.R. meets me at the front. “I’ll go talk to her. Don’t get upset, okay?”
“She’s just being really unreasonable,” I say, frustrated.
“She’s a child. Unreasonable is her middle name,” J.R. says. “Calm down. I’ve got this.”
J.R. heads down the hall and then disappears into Knox’s room. I step out on the front porch and settle into the swing. Children are frustrating, but Knox and I have never really been at odds before. I never expected her to be so unhappy about my having a baby. I don’t suppose I can blame her.
I hope J.R. is right. I hope she’ll get over it, but I wonder how much crap she’ll give me before she does.
Maybe I’ll have Kelley come stay a while. Maybe she can talk some sense into my daughter.
J.R. meets me back on the front porch. He looks sad. I think the conversation didn’t go well. I stand, and he comes to me.
“Well?”
“I don’t want you to worry about her while I’m gone. Okay?” he says. “It won’t help anything.”
“Are you okay?” I ask him.
He smiles. “I’m used to women being upset with me for no reason.”
“Well, let’s just hope she doesn’t stay mad for the next nine months.”
J.R. kisses me. “I have to go.”
“I know.”
“I love you, Rach.” He slides his hand across my stomach. “And I love the peanut.”
I wrap my arms around his neck, and I kiss him again. “We love you, too.”
