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Dinner is on the table, and J.R. is welcoming Ellie and Roger into the barn for our surprise party. Dinner isn’t anything fancy—spaghetti, salad, and toasted French bread. I’ve saved the cake for later. It holds the surprise in the middle of its moist and fluffy interior. At least, I hope it does. I followed the recipe correctly. Still, that means nothing. On top of not being a great cook, I don’t have a high success rate with baking either. I’ve decided that recipes are pretty useless. Or maybe it’s just me. I don’t know.
Roger is weak. He’s thin, and his skin is gray. His eyes seem to have sunk deeper into his face. He smiles, though, and I can respect that.
Ellie looks tired. Maybe even broken. I don’t want to know what it feels like to know that your husband will soon be gone. I know that I walked out on J.R., but at least I knew his heart was still beating.
As we eat, we laugh; we tell stories of old; and we even talk about the farm. It feels strange to me, all of us around the table as though life has always been this way. I think back to March of last year, and I realize that I haven’t been back with J.R. for a full year yet. Knox hasn’t known him long either, and up until a few months ago, J.R. hadn’t spoken to his family in fifteen years. So strange to be here like this now, like a family that always has been.
J.R. leans into me, and he whispers in my ear, “Are you okay?”
He’s noticed that I’ve gone quiet, but I’m just lost in thought. “I’m fine. I’ll go get the cake.”
“Let me help you.” J.R. stands, and he helps me stand, too. He follows me into the kitchen, and we gather the cake and dessert plates.
“You’re quiet,” J.R. says to me. He’s glancing at me out of the corner of his eye as he balances the cake in his hands.
“Just thinking is all,” I tell him.
“Care to share?”
“It’s just strange. All of us here, like one big, happy family.”
“Well, we are, aren’t we?” He looks a little concerned.
I smile at him. “We are. One big, happy,newfamily.”
“None of this is really new,” he says. “They’re my parents, and we’re us.”
“It’s all new, J.R.” I move closer to him. “It’s not a bad thing.”
J.R. leans in and kisses me. “I’m happy we’re all here together.”
I look up into his eyes, still smiling. “Me, too.”
We join the table again. J.R. sets the cake in front of Knox, and I pass out the plates. Ellie, Roger, and Knox are all unaware of why we wanted to have a big dinner, and I’m pleased that J.R. and I were able to pass this off so effortlessly. Now, they look at us with confusion on their faces as my masterpiece of a cake sits before Knox.
“We wanted everyone here tonight because we have a surprise,” I explain.
“You’re having twins!” Ellie exclaims.
J.R. laughs. “No, Mom. Rachel is not having twins.”
Knox is looking up at me with her big, blue eyes, still confused, and I wonder if she’s hoping that we’re not about to announce another major change in life that she’ll have to adjust to.
“At the doctor today, we found out the baby’s gender,” I tell them.
“I thought you were going to wait,” Roger says, puzzled.
“We were, but then we decided we couldn’t,” J.R. says.
“So, I baked a cake today,” I continue. “And as Knox cuts the first slice, the middle of the cake will reveal if we’re bringing home a baby girl or a baby boy. The answer is in the color of the cake itself.”
“I get to cut the cake?” Knox asks excitedly.
“Yep,” J.R. answers her. “So, what are you waiting for?”
Knox smiles wide, and she takes the knife in her hand. “Ready?”
“Go ahead, Rosie,” I encourage.
