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“Don’t even say that out loud!” she cries.
I kiss her. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“Can I call Emilia?”
“It wouldn’t be safe, but I promise you will see her soon and we can stay with her for a while.”
I can tell by the frown on her face that’s not good enough, but she doesn’t argue. She lays her head on my chest as more tears slide free. I wish I could take her pain away, but I know I can’t. I feel such a huge sense of loss that I can’t breathe. Losing my brother has almost brought me to my knees the last few days. I didn’t want things to turn out this way.
I never dreamed they would.
Chapter25
Zoe
Three DaysLater
Standing in Niko’s bedroom is surreal. It’s such a private space and Niko is lying in a hospital bed. He’s always been so commanding. He literally has the power to suck oxygen out of any room he enters. Now, he’s pale, hooked to so many machines that their sounds dominate the area. Everyone is somber and quiet. Weddings are supposed to be a time of celebration, but this feels anything but. Mutt is here, too. He’s the other witness to Emilia and Niko’s marriage. Callan couldn’t serve in that capacity because he is the executor of both Niko’s estate and living will. But he’s standing behind me and I’m clutching his hand tightly in a sad attempt of support. I know this is gut wrenching for him and I hate that I can’t do anything to help.
Poor Emilia is so pale. Sadness clings to her like a living thing. She’s mourning her father. She’s hurting horribly. Yet, she’s here and being strong as she possibly can—despite looking so frail my heart breaks. Her eyes have dark circles from lack of sleep and are swollen from all the tears she’s shed. Even now, tears are silently rolling down her face. I’m standing beside her, my other arm wrapped around her as I pull her into my body. I’ve always been a problem solver. Right now, I’m just useless.
The priest is performing the ceremony and with each word I feel Emilia press into me as if she wants to disappear. I know this is not how Emilia imagined her wedding.Who would?Plus, she doesn’t have her father standing with her. She’s grieving him with everything she is. She also cares for Niko, likely more than I know—even if she hates to admit it. It has to hurt her to see him like this. She’s lost so much in the space of days. She’s wearing black and the dress seems to swallow her. I doubt she’s eaten much at all since finding all of this out. Her shoulders sag, her body jumps with every beep of Niko’s monitor.
If you take away the machines, Niko looks as if he might be sleeping. Yet, they are apparently keeping him alive. There’s been no change. The doctors are monitoring him closely. It is all very morbid. We’re all very aware that the longer Niko is like this without change, the worse the news will be.
Finally, after what seems like too long, the priest says the wedding is done. Emilia leans over carefully, brushing Niko’s lips with a soft kiss. I wonder for a second if it’s their first and my heart clenches. No couple should have such a sad first kiss. Mutt tries to insert himself between me and Emilia. I know he’s taxed with keeping her safe, but I’m not willing to leave my best friend.
“I’m going to stay with you tonight,” I respond. I need to be here for my friend. I want to watch over her and make sure she eats. I want to be here for her to talk to.
“Not tonight,” Emilia says, softly. “I want time alone.”
“Emilia, you need someone with you.”
“I have Niko’s bodyguards. I will be fine. I have a lot I need to work through.” She doesn’t say much more but her eyes plead with me to understand. I don’t—not really. Still, the last thing she needs is me arguing and not listening to her wishes. She’s had that her whole life.
Callan comes up behind me and hugs me. His hold on me is strong, as are his words, but the slight redness to his eyes gives away the grief he’s trying to hide. “Niko’s house is a fortress. Emilia will be fine there.”
“Fine, but I will see you tomorrow. Okay?” I tell her. “And if you need anything—anything at all…”
Emilia nods as tears pool in her eyes. She gives me a hug and I hold her tightly, trying to will some of my strength into her. I want to hold her until her pain is mine. I want to make my friend feel better, but there’s no making this better—no matter how much I wish I could.
I give her one last smile before Callan and I leave. I glance once over at Niko, praying he will wake up. He has a wife and a brother that need him. I almost make it to the parking lot before my legs buckle and I fall into Callan, bawling my eyes out. I should be the strong one but I can’t. I’m crying for him, for Emilia and Niko. It’s all just so sad. Callan picks me up in his strong arms, making me ashamed for my weakness. He curves me into his body as I hold on. He carefully sets me inside the vehicle and then slides in beside me as the driver closes the door and then gets in the front of limo, starting it. I hold onto Callan, tears still falling as he pulls out a handkerchief and dries my eyes.
“I love you,” I hiccup, my lip wobbling as the tears threaten to come back.
“I love you too, my angel.” Tears shine in his eyes and a few have escaped, and I lean up to kiss them away, sharing his pain.
This is all so wrong. Callan is losing the only true family he ever had. Then there’s Emilia. She married a man who lies lifeless in a bed all while preparing to bury her father tomorrow. I can do nothing but pray they both find strength and comfort. Although, I am praying hard that Niko will somehow receive a miracle and wake up. My friend deserves a man who can make her as happy as I am with Callan, and I feel in my heart that Niko can do that.
I’m just scared he’ll never get the chance.
Epilogue
ZOE
The DayOf The Funeral
It’slate at night before we get back to the house. After the funeral we spent the rest of the day and evening with Emilia at Niko’s home—my friend’s new home. We didn’t leave until she took something to help her sleep and was knocked out. She’s so broken. I know that she needs time to let her body and mind recoup.
