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“Woman.” He growls in my ear. “Do I look like I’m doingbackflips here? This isn’t easy for me either.”
I push at the arm holding me to him with everything I have, but he won’t budge.
“Don’t you think I would have liked to find a mate who is more agreeable?” he asks.
Jealousy swims through my veins, but I don’t reply. This is exactly what I needed from him. If he proves that he’s the asshole I think he is, I can end this mating and move on with my life. Consequences be damned.
“But I don’t want another female, I want you,” he whispers into my ear. “And if you want to know the truth, I’ve always wanted you.”
Those words are my tipping point. I’ve always wanted to belong to him. I’ve been in love with him for longer than I can remember. But it’s not the truth, and all the walls I had built up to keep my emotions in check come tumbling down.
He couldn’t hurt me more if he hit me.
****
Rowan
Kira’s entire body locks up with my whispered admission.
“Let me go,” she says so softly that I almost miss it.
I release my hold, fearing that I may have finally pushed her too far this time. I watch her closely as she turns to face me.
“Don’t be cruel, Rowan,” she says meekly, tears brimming in her eyes. “I know that as alpha, you’re used to getting whatever you want, and you want this mating, but don’t start lying to me.”
“Kira.” I step closer to her, cupping her face in my palms. “I have never, and I will never, lie to you.”
She watches me skeptically.
“I saw you. Every day, I watched your every move. I saw and heard what the others said and did.” I frown, rememberingall those times I should have done something. “But it’s easier to fall in with the crowd. It’s so much more convenient to just follow the path laid out than to go against what everyone wants.”
“Rowan—”
“No, Kira. The truth is I was too weak to do anything to help you out of your misery when I should have. I was being young and dumb, falling into the bed of any girl who would let me instead of being a man.” I release her face and turn away.
“If there was any reason you should end our mating”—I take a deep breath—“it’s because I don’t deserve you. I never did anything to be worthy of you. But don’t for a second think I haven’t always wanted you.”
Before I step over the threshold, I turn back toward her. “But you can believe I will do everything in my power to prove that I’m worthy now. I don’t want to lose you.”
With that, I leave her alone in the cabin.
Chapter Nine
Kira
We’ve been at the cabin for ten days, and my nerves are on edge. Every time I turn around, Rowan is right there, in my personal space. Back at home, with the Katu Pack, I share a house with Talia. We each have our own room, and there’s more than enough space.
Here, it’s too small. One bedroom with a bed that I use, a bathroom, a kitchen, and a small lounge with a lumpy couch Rowan sleeps on. He takes up all the space with his big-ass muscled self. I didn’t think this through before we came here. I didn’t know the cabin was this small, but it’s too late now. There are only a couple of days left before I can leave and return home.
Being enclosed with Rowan is messing with my mind. His scent has permeated into every nook and cranny. The words he said to me the other day play on repeat in my mind.
This morning, I woke up hot and bothered after dreaming about him fucking me over the kitchen table. It doesn’t help matters that he sleeps shirtless or that I can see his erection through the shorts he wears.
This leads to where I am now, skinny dipping in the lake a half-mile from the cabin. My skin feels hot and clammy like it was stretched too small. I just need to cool down. The water caresses my skin, cooling me down and making me feel more like I’m in control of my body.
After swimming in circles for a while, I head back toward the dock where I left my towel and clothes. I instantly regret the decision to strip naked when Rowan comes into view, already holding my towel out for me.
“Couldn’t you just stay at the cabin?” I ask from down in the water.
