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“At six, yes, but that leaves the whole day free.”
Cara’s heart did a little double beat. She’d love to go for a scenic drive with Alec, but was that asking for trouble? She was already feeling all kinds of emotions right now, and none of them were steady, reliable feelings. “If tomorrow you are still free, then let’s talk about it. However, if you’re not free, I can go to Haddon Hall. Paul told me there’s a bus that runs from downtown Bakewell to Haddon Hall, and it takes just eleven minutes.”
“Paul has been most helpful.”
Cara’s lips twitched. “Now who is being sarcastic?”
“Not sarcastic. I’m glad he’s been able to help you. I just wish you felt comfortable enough to ask me. I’d be happy to advise you.”
Cara hesitated. “In that case, I don’t suppose you could convince Miss Fletcher to give you a call should a Langley Park tour have a last-minute spot available. The tours at Langley have all sold out and with Christmas almost here, there are very few left.”
He frowned. “You don’t need a ticket to tour my house. Just join a tour—”
“I can’t apparently. Everyone must have a ticket for insurance purposes.”
“That’s ridiculous. Miss Fletcher is far too rigid.”
“I don’t think Miss Fletcher made the rules up. Buying a ticket means I’ve agreed to the terms and should I fall down a flight of stairs, I can’t sue you, or the women’s guild.”
“Why don’t I just take you around the house? No need to go on a group tour, is there?”
“But if you go on the organized tour, you get a little enamel pin of the house at Langley Park, and it’d be a wonderful souvenir, especially now that I’m spending Christmas at Langley Park.”
“I’ll ask Miss Fletcher if I can purchase a pin for you.”
“Don’t say it’s for me,” Cara said quickly. “Miss Fletcher doesn’t seem to like me that much. Just say you want one.”
He studied her for a long moment and then slowly smiled. “Maybe I do.”
Chapter Five
That afternoon afterreturning to Langley Park, Alec needed to get some work done, and said as much to Cara. She said she hoped to go outside, walk around, and take some pictures as she liked the light. Albert and Milo wanted to follow her, and Alec was fine with that, provided she didn’t let them wander off too far on their own. Cara agreed and, with Lady at his heels, Alec retreated to his study. With Lady on her bed before the fire, Alec opened his computer and pulled up a spreadsheet, but he was finding it hard to concentrate.
He knew it was eight years ago today. He’d known today was coming, and it was practically his first thought when he woke this morning, but he’d forgotten for the past few hours, and he didn’t mind forgetting. He wouldn’t have minded not remembering at all.
One couldn’t spend forever locked in grief. There had to be other thoughts, other emotions, other memories.
But it was eight years today, and he thought of Madeleine’s parents, as she’d been their only daughter. Her death had devastated all of them, but her parents, they didn’t blame him for her death, they blamed themselves. They were the ones who’d taught her to ski. She’d been raised in the shadow of the mountain. Snow and sport had always been her passion. Of course there were dangers, but she was smart, and careful, and good. She was so good, and so beautiful to watch, flying down the mountain as if she had wings instead of skies.
He left his desk and, stepping over Lady, took a poker to the logs, careful not to stir up too many sparks.
He’d always said that one day he wouldn’t return here to Langley for Christmas. But how would remaining in London be any different? The date remained the same. The loss would be wherever he was, whether in the city, or here.
The day he’d returned from the funeral in France, the Christmas candlelit tour had just taken place, as it did every year. The relatives had flown to France for the funeral, and they then showed up for dinner, just as they always did. And then it was his father and him for Christmas, so painfully quiet without Madeleine filling the house with her elegance and vivacity. The house without Madeleine brought back the memories of the house without his mother.
The people he loved left.
The people he needed weren’t there.
But he had responsibilities, and there was no time to really grieve. Just like when he was a boy and abandoned by his mother, his father had packed him up and sent him off to boarding school.
After Madeleine’s death and the terrible Christmas at Langley, Alec forced himself back to London and the flat he’d shared with his wife. It took him two years before he could pack up any of her things, and another two years before he could empty the rest of the drawers. He left a few photos, but gradually everything of hers was put away, given to her parents, who’d wanted everything.
Eight years now without her, and he was finally okay with it, but that didn’t mean there weren’t regrets. Or scars.
*
With an hourstill before dinner, Alec offered to show Cara the house. “It might help keep you from getting lost,” he said dryly.“We’ve had lost guests before. It’s taken some of them an hour to find their way back. I’d hate for that to happen to you.”
