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“Nope.”
“Good.”
“Anything for you, girlfriend.”
I heard her giggle as she pulled her fingers from mine while walking ahead. I stopped, letting her go at the crosswalk between Butler and Gorham. I waited for a moment, following her barefoot silhouette while Lizzie stepped away. The subtle sway of her hips, the delicate way her fingers simply dangled against her thighs as she walked, and I was hypnotized.
“Mermaid?” She turned around, her thin eyebrows furrowing as she caught me staring at her.
“Come to the park with me.” I cocked my head to the left. “Please, girlfriend?”
It was serene in the summer evening, the sounds of downtown just barely audible, covered by the sporadic traffic and peaceful lapping of waves against the shore. Lake Mendota sparkled beneath the moon, just like Lizzie’s eyes as we wandered through the park, finding a dry spot to settle on the ground. I bent my legs and opened my arms, welcoming Lizzie to sit against me, melting into a damn pool of ecstasy when she did. She told me more about Declan, her work, and what a relief it was for the museum event to conclude. I listened to every word, lapping it like one of the waves only feet away from us, eagerly waiting for more.
I folded back the sleeves of my dress shirt, catching Lizzie’s head turn downward as she studied the ink on my exposed forearms. I stretched my arms around her from behind, holding her bent knees in my palms as her back fell against my chest. Her warmth rippled into my chest. I could feel the rush of oxytocin like the drug Lizzie was, pumping through me, helping me forget that at any moment I could’ve been called for work or called away.
She rolled her head from side to side while she found a position that comforted her within my arms, resting her left cheek against my chest, head tipped back and eyes on mine.
“I never come here during the day in the summer,” she whispered. “Too many people.”
“I helped a woman give birth by that tree once,” I nodded my head in the distance, “and wrapped two broken noses from a frat fight up by that sidewalk. Over there, by the shoreline, I helped your friend Ben when he was puking.” Lizzie’s right hand folded over my right forearm, the fingers of her left tickling my mermaid on the other arm as I spoke.
“Ben,” she hummed, “what a stud.” I grunted, shaking my head and refusing to acknowledge her banter. Thinking of Ben took me back to work and, until the phone vibrated in my pocket, I didn’t want to think of it.
“How are Sean and Avery?” I changed the topic, feeling her fingers still on my skin. “Lizzie,” I quietly stated, getting no response from her. I repeated her name two more times before her gaze lifted. “How are Sean and Avery?”
Her smile fell, twisting into a nervous pout while she glanced around me. A couple walked their dog along the lapping shoreline, distracting both of us for a second. Lizzie’s avoidant stare was on the couple, their dog, my tattoos. I thought about my ink taking her back in time, to the day we met, the day Sean almost died.
“They didn’t come to dinner on Sunday.”
“Are they okay?”
She shrugged, returning her stroking fingertips to my mermaid. “I think so.” She was silent once more, and I didn’t press it further…until I felt her shoulders soften against me and the world’s deepest breath leave her body.
Lowering my lips to her ear, I softly whispered, “And you? How’s my girl?” I was rewarded with Lizzie’s head tipping back, her cheeks glowing with a soft highlight of the moon, before her pursed lips slowly pushed against mine.
“I’m really happy for them, Noah,” she uttered as her lips left mine. “I’m just worried. Worried about them, nervous…about you…about this, us…”
I took my right hand from her knee and wrapped my arm across her chest to pull her closer to me while I kissed her forehead. Lizzie hummed with my touch, the sound reassuring and calm. I wished it wasn’t a public beach, because Lizzie was perfect, and I didn’t want to miss a moment of anything with her. I would’ve let her do anything to me anywhere, as long as she felt safe, cared for. The reckless part of me wanted to devour Lizzie with only my hands, tortured by just knowing her from the outside and desperate to touch her. My heart quickened, and I felt hers pound against my chest. I looked at the sky, a small chuckle rumbling in my chest when I thought of how fast I’d fallen for Lizzie, how hopeless I already felt. I thought of how irrational it all seemed, how perfectly messed up it was to meet each other, and how incredible it felt to hold her.
“What’s so funny?”
“Do you ever look up at the stars, Lizzie, and wonder about how it’s all up there? How we’re all here?”
“I used to.”
“I just think, right now,” I paused to kiss her hair, “how of all the stars in the universe, those are the ones shining on us. And of all the people in the world, I get to look at them with you.”
Releasing my right arm from the comforting cage I built around her, I glided my fingers along her neck, feeling Lizzie shiver with my touch, locking my palm around her throat while I lowered my lips to hers.
I don’t know how much time passed while Lizzie and I were lying in the park, sheltered only by the moonlight. It didn’t matter. My phone didn’t ring, her face was in my hands, and life was on pause. Except for my life with Lizzie, that was happening. My life with Lizzie…holy shit.
I bit my lip almost the entire walk back to her condo, realizing it was real, that we were something, and I felt this messed-up feeling. I couldn’t control my heartbeat; the bastard was pounding out of control. Anxiety, lust, hopelessly romantic; it all swirled around me like a damn tornado of emotions. I was a wreck. I needed her. Damn, I needed her.
She took one step toward her front door, and I stopped, watching her once more like I did before the park, feeling my soul go somewhere else as we both focused on Lizzie. I knew it, I felt it; I’d been waiting for Lizzie my entire life. Sure, it was fast, there was trauma, there was so much to learn, but I wanted to know it all. I needed Lizzie to educate me, to show me what it’s like to be loved unconditionally, to have a future, to have fun…to live. But my life didn’t promise that to either of us, and I was a horrible person for needing her so much.
“Noah?” My name on her mouth stole my attention, and I lifted my eyes from her legs to her face. “Come up?” Lizzie reached out for me, and my hand fell into hers without a second thought, like the damn thing was under her control and not mine. “You can meet my cats.”
“Your cats?” I watched Lizzie’s cheeks redden, her lips turning inward to stifle a laugh attempting to split her mouth. I slowly nodded, stepping closer to her. “I’d love to, Lizzie.”
