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Chapter Eleven
By the time we cleaned up, let Muffin out, and fed her cats, Lizzie and I were spent. She was still giggling and talking, high on her friends, even as she changed into my t-shirt and brushed her teeth. I said a lot of “yeah” and “uh huh” while she brushed her teeth and washed her face, totally unable to make out what she was saying.
Curling into bed sometime after two in the morning, I didn’t want to let go of Lizzie. The knot we tangled into, the perfect curve of her body against mine, it all seemed so right. Sean’s words tossed and turned, and I wondered what else he had to say. Everyone stayed, letting Avery sleep on the couch while we sat on the patio and talked as though I’d known them my entire life. Lizzie’s friends were like that, inclusive and safe. They were like the cousins or best friend you had that, no matter the time or distance, you picked up from where you left off and it just fit.
“I told Sean about you getting called away someday,” she admitted, her voice muffled with fatigue as she spoke into my forearm. I loved that about her, the bold and unforgiving blunt Lizzie who would speak whatever was on her mind because time really was too short for bullshit.
“Did you tell him you stole my heart?”
“I did,” she mumbled, and I almost couldn’t understand as her lips pressed against my tattooed skin.
“Did you tell him I’ll come back for you?” I felt her body move as she giggled, her response an unintelligible whimper. I grinned into her hair, loving the way she felt in my arms, the way her mouth tickled my skin, the way I was in love with her.
“I love you, Noah.” Now that I understood. My throat tightened and went dry, stifled by my pounding heart. Lizzie rolled over, wiping away the loose curls which fell with her movement, eyes barely open while she stared at me.
Her left hand was heavy on my cheek, her right spread against my heart. “My best friends waited years to be together, and one of them almost died. I don’t want to wait to be with someone. I don’t want to wait that long to be with someone I like, Noah. Maybe it’ll be real love. Maybe we really will be married. Maybe we’ll realize we’re soul mates. I don’t know! But I can’t think of maybes and what-ifs. I can only think of now. If now means this, then I want it. If now means not you, I’m out.”
“I guess that makes me your boyfriend after all,” I told her, my gaze flicking between her eyes while Lizzie nuzzled her head under my chin.
She hummed softly against my collar bone before looking up at me with a hesitant smile, barely squinting her eyes. “Even if you’re called away.”
“Even then,” I assured her, pressing my lips to her forehead.
“It only makes sense. Right? Being boyfriend and girlfriend before getting married? I mean, let’s not rush into anything here, mermaid,” Lizzie bantered, her sarcasm and giggle infectious.
I peered down at her. “You do realize you’ve spent the last seven nights in my bed…and we…”
“Twenty times. I know.” Lizzie winked at me, biting her bottom lip. “So, when this fight is over…make up for the twenty-first?” She moved her hand from my heart, torturously slow fingertips gliding down my body and under my shirt, tickling my bare skin. Twenty-first and twenty-second. We were tired but not that tired. Twenty-third…
***
That dark day I warned myself about came sooner than I’d hoped, in a moment I refused to give up. I couldn’t get off work to go with Lizzie to their next friends’ dinner two weeks later, and I wished I had. Every second we owned was precious, and its clock started to tick when I rolled over in bed to answer my ringing phone. Lizzie was asleep when I got to her condo, and I could tell she and Ella had been drinking because there were three open packages of cookies on the coffee table, next to three empty bottles of white or pink wine.
She was snoring in bed, competing with Muffin for acoustics. Me climbing into bed woke her enough to give me some kisses before she fell asleep again. Hours passed while I tossed and turned restlessly, having spent my shift bouncing between the hospital and fire station, unable to settle.
When the call came, I didn’t believe it. The vibration was quiet compared to the snoring duo in my company, so I missed it. The phone number was enough; I knew what the message would say.
“We understand you love your work and that you signed up for this life before you met Elizabeth Jacqueline Lewis, but we own you. Report for duty.” Essentially. It really was a captain calling to tell me I’ve been summoned to medic duties in two weeks. He apologized for the short notice, reminding me I “know how it goes.” I stared at Lizzie while listening to his words, not sure which world was real in that moment…or which needed me more. Sitting in bed, I wanted to puke.
I spun my phone around in my hand, the metal warm from my sweating palms. The device weighed a ton against my skin, holding the heavy reminder of a life I’d signed up for to save lives before I met the one who saved mine. She stirred at my side, just enough to roll onto her back while still sleeping. I wondered what she was dreaming of, whether it was us, her friends, the future. It was Lizzie; she was probably dreaming of pizza, wine, and what kept us up all night.
I flipped my phone around and around, trying to anchor myself to the moment while I watched Lizzie’s chest rise and fall, the message from my phone pulling my heart lower into my stomach. She hadn’t a clue our world was about to hit a bump, and I didn’t know how to tell her. We’d talked about it; it’d been there, the risk always hanging over us. But instead of a plan, we pushed the unknown to the side like a bill we’d neglected, knowing we’d need to deal with it eventually…just not today. Today was here, and so was the beautiful woman sleeping next to me. She twisted the sheet around her, tugging it to her chin.
“Lizzie,” I whispered, lowering my face to hers. She didn’t flinch, and I…I didn’t want to wake her. I wanted her to have a few more minutes in her dream, a few more minutes for me to quell the throbbing anxiety in my throat. I slid from bed, pulling on my sweatpants, and decided to let out Muffin before Lizzie woke, ensuring his clicking claws against her hardwood floor wouldn’t wake Lizzie or her cats.
It was half past five in the morning, and I’d never wanted a beer so badly. Once Muffin was done and plopped back on Lizzie’s couch, I took one of her cold brew coffee bottles from the fridge and found a spot to think on her porch. The paint chipped a little more with each step, and I told myself to paint it for her as soon as…before…before I go.
Staring out along the street, I took in the neighborhood I’d known before Lizzie and the same block I’d strolled with her hundreds of times by now. The sun peeked over the lake, filtering through the trees with promise of a beautiful day. I consumed the coffee in a flash, still not feeling its effects as I limply sat with my arms dangling over my knees. The warm summer breeze that tickled the leaves along her block was refreshing against my bare skin, a memory I’d hold while away.
Paint Lizzie’s patio and steps. See if Silas can take Muffin. Contact my landlord. I was making a mental list of how to take care of everyone before packing my bags when my phone buzzed once more. I glanced at the screen, swiping to ignore Ben’s call. I put the glass bottle in Lizzie’s makeshift flower pot recycling bin and went back inside, leaving the patio door open.
Her kitchen was dark as I wandered through, lit only by the rising sun. I saw her two cats curled in their massive circle of fluff not too far from my snoring dog, with so much fur I couldn’t tell where one began and the other ended. My phone buzzed once more, and I silenced it, placing it on her dining table and letting everything it stood for that morning remain in another room while I went back to check on Lizzie.
“Come back to bed,” she grumbled with her eyes closed. Lizzie tried to tug the sheet back for me, but her hand was so limp that nothing moved. I stepped toward the bed, kneeling on the edge so I could lean over and kiss her forehead.
“Come back,” she repeated, opening her eyes. “It’s too early to be awake.”
“We need to talk,” I mumbled, hovering my lips outside of her ear. She grunted in defiance and turned her head toward me, closing her eyes. “Lizzie.”
