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“I can’t believe you’re joking about that,” I gaped, admitting it was amusing, “and the other storm?”
“I know,” he paused as thunder tore through the sky again, “the girls have a date tomorrow night, or tonight, whatever time it is. I could make Avery late, and Jesse could do the same with Ella, and that’d get Lizzie alone.”
“I’m not intruding on her turf,” I objected. I needed something better, and fast, because I knew this hangover was going to make my shift at the station impossible.
***
I carried around a gallon of water and ibuprofen, aware my liver was pissed as hell at me, but nothing else worked to keep the throbbing headache to a minimum. The storm worsened throughout the day, with no sign of stopping and severe weather warnings scrolling on every channel.
I hid in the bunks, regretting everything I did last night, except calling Sean and reading that e-mail. I should have been jubilant, but my heart was so hung up that I couldn’t even call Callie to tell her. She’d gotten the e-mail too, but I still felt…I don’t know…obligated? It was a messy situation, and maybe my heart was just still so overwhelmed that I couldn’t even celebrate reality.
Maybe, the more I thought of it, I did want a kid someday. Maybe I was grieving. No. I’m depressed. I lost my girlfriend, I lost a baby I didn’t want, and I’m hungover. I got angry only two times, thinking of how easy it was for Lizzie to just give up on us, on me…but then I remembered what Avery and Sean told me before I’d drunk myself into a stupor and I felt like a reckless bastard.
With the power outages, my phone wasn’t charged, and we were running the station on generators for most of the evening. Water dripped in one corner, and I tried to keep it from ruining things by placing a bucket under it. I was in no condition to use heavy machinery and fix shit. I paid the newbies one hundred dollars to keep their billiard game on hold, just to save my head.
I tossed and turned, tried to stay still, and I couldn’t shake anything.
“Rossi.” The Chief shoved my leg. “Wake up.”
I groaned, rolling on my side. “Go away, Mom.” He kicked me the next time, huffing about my snarky comment. I heard his knees crack behind me as he lowered to my bedside.
“You’ve got a visitor.” I opened my eyes, praying it wasn’t like the last visitor they’d let into the station. “Don’t get your hopes up. It’s just a delivery.”
“Sign for me.” I turned over, facing the wall again, disappointed. I didn’t hear what he told me while walking away because my head hurt too much. So does my heart.
The lights flickered, the comforting hum of electricity returning us to the modern age, and the first thing I did was search for my phone and plug the charger into the wall. I went on two calls between naps, simple fixes with people hurt doing stupid stuff downtown, and waited out the rest of my shift.
When the clock finally rang with the shift change bell at midnight, I was the first out of there, quick to go home and clean the mess I’d created.
“Hey, you,” Nina called as I turned the corner in the hallway, “going out for drinks tonight?”
I laughed, definitely considering sobriety after last night. “No. Thanks. If you see Silas, tell him to call me.” She gave me a thumbs up and continued on with whatever she was doing. I really didn’t care. I had one mission: figure out my shit and get Lizzie back. Thunder rumbled above the city once more, rain pouring as I stepped onto the sidewalks of downtown Madison.
State Street was barren, and I appreciated it. I didn’t want to rescue anyone except myself, and I didn’t want to deal with screaming college kids pretending their skin would melt beneath the rain. At each crosswalk, I looked up to the sky, letting every drop slam against my face in the humid summer air. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and reached for it, letting more raindrops hit my tongue before I choked.
Lizzie: Meet me under the stars.
I squinted, rubbed my eyes, blinked, all trying to make sure I hadn’t lost it. A horn screamed at me while I stood dumbfounded in the middle of the crosswalk. I reread her message ten times once I made it to the other side. The stars? At the park? My thumbs and brain weren’t communicating. I forgot how to text…so I ran, in the pouring rain, falling down four times, to James Madison Park, because I remembered. I couldn’t forget holding Lizzie in my arms, talking about how incredible it was to find one another in the entire universe…I remembered those stars.
My shirt and jeans were sodden and soiled, dragging me down while I ran through puddles and splashed across the city. The handful of blocks felt like a marathon, and I couldn’t settle my heart or my throbbing head. Each debilitating pound pierced my chest, and I wanted to topple over too many times. I couldn’t see in the spray of downpour and darkness, but I searched everywhere. I reached for my phone to check once more that her message was real, but the battery died. I almost sank in the sand, and my jeans weighed more than me when I spotted the boathouse and the gray silhouette watching the choppy waves splashing in Lake Mendota.
