Page 34 of Shameless


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“Yeah.” His voice is gruff, somehow adding gravity to its sincerity, which has me slightly taken aback. I try to give him a casual “good for you” shrug, before busying myself again. Preventing this rapid beating of my heart, or the tingling sensation in my belly to make any wrong assumptions. Because he’s not for me, even though his presence is everywhere. Lingering, just like the sensation of our shared intimacy and his seductive smell, that I greedily inhale, filling my insides with ecstasy. It’s enticing and excruciating and after last night, I needed to escape. Because there’s only one way this pathetic crush of mine can end.

“Let’s go.” Another low grumble, yet neither of us moves. We stand there, looking our finest, staring at each other as if the world has crumbled and we’re the only two left.

I clear my throat, swallowing its thickness and the words altogether. My mouth feels dry but as we make our way outside, my eyes don’t miss their target. And they love what they see— strong legs and thighs that are hidden beneath a smart casual pair of black pants and a dark green shirt that makes the speckles of gold in his eyes pop. Bangs, the ones that he usually blows out of his face like some casual supermodel, have now been smoothly tucked to the side with product.

He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. And every time he looks at me with those beautiful eyes, like he’s begging to touch me, I die a little. I can’t get my head around it. Whydoeshe touch me? Hasn’t he been wanting to play me ever since he got that video? But my walls, no matter how hard I try to keep them up, are useless. It only takes one single caress to feel myself crumble at his feet. Because my mind is losing the war against my heart and I need to save my sanity to survive.

Deep down, I know he’s the one for me. But then again, has he ever not been?

Somehow, last night’s events hit my limits. Being face to face with some of the members ofLes Frères Perdusand seeing the mind power they can visibly exercise gave me shivers. Seeing Austin in a trance, eyes glossy, posture slack, whispering, and mumbling to no one in particular, was out of this world. It made him vulnerable in a way I’ve never seen him before. It was raw, and my urge to protect him was primal. But of course, he was too busy starting a self-proclaimed war with the only ally in that bar to notice. Too busy to notice me.

My time alone today wasnecessary. When I woke up, I once more left my picture of perfection in the bed and took a cab back to le Marais. Back to that buzz of shops and bars, of people and cobblestones. The art gallery was as welcoming as I’d hoped. And the canvas portraying a black and white still life created by a local artist was meant to be mine.

The moment the car leaves the curb, I’m back to business. “I bet you want to go home as badly as I do. So here’s what’s going to happen tonight.” I feel his wandering gaze, but in the semi-darkness of the car, it’s easy to just ignore him. “With Manuel not being here, one of hisbrothers,’’ I flick my head toward him for a brief moment, “will have our back tonight. And before you ask, I don’t know who. He said he’ll find me.”

The obscurity of the situation makes me chuckle lightly. This is madness. Going to some high-end sex party and having to trust a stranger, are two elements that are so out of my comfort zone, that it’s just plain ironic. Though adding the danger element to it makes it less funny.

If things don’t go as planned, we could die here. “I need to get to theMaster’sphone to install spyware. That spyware will allow my tech specialist to monitor their whereabouts, and of those who get in touch with him, which is exactly what we’re hoping for—he gets in touch with his Master, boom, we can start tracing him. Then we can focus on taking him out as soon as possible, which will immediately set an example to the other brothers. That’s what happens when you mess with us.” I imitate a gun and pull the trigger. He huffs out an incredulous chuckle. “You don’t seem like a gunman.”

“You’re right. I’ll leave that to you.”

“How long will it take you to get that spyware on it?”

“It’s quick, a couple of minutes max. Once that’s done, we get the hell out.”

“And thenwhat?” He gives me an incredulous look. “That’s really all your big brain came up with? And what if the murderer doesn’t call hisMaster?” He air quotes, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Thenwhat?”

That has actually crossed my mind, but he doesn’t need to know that. Especially not when he’s back at showing his true colors again. “And what didyouhave in mind?” I snarl. “Hide your machine guns under your coat and kill them all?” I make a show of my snort. “As much as you might be self-destructive, I’d quite like to go home safe. So I say we get intel on the assassin in New York, track him down and deal with him. We’ll save the guns for next time.”

Austin pinches the bridge of his nose, then breathes in deeply as he visibly tries to get his agitation under control. “So how are we going to get hold of his phone?”

I let out a strangled chuckle. That’s the million-dollar question.

“Good question. Let’s be clear about something, there is nowe. I’m on a mission and you just hopped along. You and I are not friends, Austin. So, consider this a competition and I’m going to beat. Your. Ass.” I squeeze my lips tightly and allow the aching in my chest to let out a shudder through my body. “You are…” my voice breaks and I squeeze my eyes shut, not able to finish my phrase. “Tonight, I won’t save your ass,” I settle with, then let silence and tension take over, crackling heavy in the air. He’s so quiet that I’m nearly tempted to look over my shoulder to see what he’s up to.

“Does this have to do with last night’s question?” His voice is too soft, too gentle, perhaps too close to reality.

Our driver chooses that moment to clear her throat. “After tonight you can fight each other. Now, focus.” She hands us two Venetian masks. “Don’tevertake it off.”

After one last turn, she stops the car on a large boulevard in the 16th arrondissement, Paris’s most luxurious area.

“Keep your phones tucked inside your boxer briefs. Security is not allowed to search you there.” She turns to check and grunts her approval as we do what she says. “Stay safe. Tonight there is hypnosis and sex. I’ll wait for you, here.”

“Love the way that she just gives us the exact words without any warning,” Austin grumbles.

We are in front of a decadent Haussmanian building that covers almost half a block, and is bordered by a large park. I look up at the sleek design on the high oak doors that highlight the fluid lines of the top of the composition, which is carved with foliage, flowers, and beautiful shells. It stops me momentarily in my tracks and I can’t help but admire its beauty.

“Come on.” Austin places his hand on the small of my back as he nudges me forward. As if I didn’t just yell at him like some lovesick fool.I’ve already fallen.

The beautiful facade is prefaced by wide, stone steps, that we tentatively climb as my eyes find the two, suited men that are waiting for us at the top.

Do they know who we are?

As we reach the top, they silently hold the door open, allowing us to enter a large corridor. Two more men, both wearing golden Venetian masks that cover their faces entirely, approach.

“Good evening and welcome. Names?”

My heart clenches and in a nausea of panic, I blurt, “We’ve been invited by Manuel. We’re from the States.”

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