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“She knew you wanted that throne.”
“I wanted what was best for my people, but that did not make my decision any easier. I was reluctant to put her in danger.”
“But you did, didn’t you?”
“I did, and she almost died. I almost lost her. Not because of the Blood Battle but because Benicio tried to have her killed. Similar to how he went after you—always tiptoeing around the Proxy Vow. Thankfully, she survived and ultimately won her second Blood Battle, but I was…distraught. I found myself constantly worrying for her well-being instead of the new issue threatening my kingdom and the throne.”
“The drought.”
“Yes. The water had dried up, and the creatures were beginning to die. An uprising was inevitable. That was when I sent Mahra and her family over the bridge to safety. And on that day, she made me a promise. She said that she had a dream of meeting a man, and they would have a daughter. She did not want her child to die, bleeding out for me. So she said that if I did my best to prevent any more Blood Battles, she would find water. Even if she had to carry the water in buckets with her own two hands, she would make sure something came to us.” He slowly releases a breath. “She kept her word, but I did not keep mine, though I tried at the expense of my own people. Many Wall Men died breaking the Proxy Vow for me, eliminating my enemies because I would do anything to prevent challenges to my throne.”
“Did you ever see her again?” I ask.
“I saw her when she showed me her daughter Rain through the window. But that was the last time.”
When he sayswindow, he means a doorway to my world that’s been left unlocked on both sides. When it’s open, the doorway looks like a window. They can see into my world, and we can see into theirs. When the doors are closed, the window disappears. Of course, these doors, which can be opened and closed, were built into the wall. It’s all artificial, just like the bridge. Strip away the wall, and there’s just a big open window—a doorway anyone can step through.
“I didn’t realize there was so much history between you and my family.” I had never heard this story, and frankly, it jars me.
“Every time I called on a Norfolk for the Blood Battle, I saw Mahra’s angry face in theirs. I was leading one of her grandchildren or great-grandchildren to die. It pained me. And, it’s why I eventually lost the throne.”
“I don’t understand.”
“A hundred years ago, Benicio issued his fifth challenge. I should have chosen the strongest and bravest Norfolk to proxy, but I could not. Your great-grandmother looked so similar to Mahra. Same smile and dark hair. I could not bring myself to do it. So I chose her youngest brother instead, and I lost.”
I don’t want to feel sorry for Alwar, but I do. I never understood that these decisions weighed so heavily on him. No, he didn’t give his life in the Blood Battle, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t suffered.
“Lake, you look just like Mahra. Not similar. Exactly the same. My heart almost stopped when I laid eyes on you.”
I blink. Is this why I’ve caught him looking at me like I’m the love of his life? “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“There was no point. I had to learn from my mistakes and send the strongest, bravest Norfolk to proxy for me.”
“The only Norfolk left.”
“Even so, I did not want to. I delayed as long as I could to challenge Benicio again. But I knew I had to. He was scheming to take the wall, and if I did not attempt to regain power, you were doomed anyway.”
“So why are you telling me this now?” What’s changed?
“Our fates have always been intertwined. And I am not merely speaking of the original group of humans who came to my people and taught us to build, which changed the fate of the War People. I am speaking specifically of the Norfolk bloodline. It is why I cannot let go of Mahra’s memory. It is why I look at you and feel this is all meant to be. It is why, ever since you negotiated my freedom with Mato and spared Tiago from the No Ones, my people feel invincible with you at our side.”
“So what are you saying?”
He brushes a strand of my long hair back behind my ear. “I’m saying that you must leave. We cannot afford—I cannot afford—to lose you.”
“But—”
“If you want the War People and the No Ones to have the smallest chance of defending this wall against every creature in every kingdom, we have to know we are fighting for something that matters on the other side of that bridge. You.”
My heart squeezes, and his words touch me deeply. He’s not the sort of man who goes around speaking about his feelings.
I sigh. Partially with relief, partially with sadness. He’s right. I have to go. And I have to trust that he’ll do everything possible to hold the wall.
“Alwar, I have a question. My grandma said that if anything ever went wrong, I needed to burn down River Wall. She said it would buy time. Time for what?”
“I do not know, but your grandmother was always mad.”
“Mad at the world, you mean.”
