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And — oh. Realization hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was hot and cold with desire, shivering. It had been … a really long time since I’d had the “dessert” that Mikhail was talking about.
Something to the tune of four years.
Because between my work, the triplets, helping my mom, dealing with my brother, and trying to keep everything afloat, I hadn’t had the time or inclination to try to date anyone.
I had only ever been with Mikhail that fateful night.
It was honestly so pathetic that it made me cringe every time I thought about it.
“Stop overthinking it,” Mikhail said, cupping my chin in his hand. “Just let it happen.”
I didn’t know who made the first move — whether he brought my lips to his or I took the initiative. But it didn’t really seem to matter as our mouths met, the rest of the world fading away. His beard both enthralled and grounded me somehow, urging me onward as I slipped my tongue into his mouth.
He tasted of promise. Of the wine we’d been sharing. Faintly, of the whisky he must have partaken before I’d arrived at the restaurant.
Of memories.
“I missed you,” I breathed against him. “I don’t care that it’s been four years. I don’t care about anything. I’m just glad you’re here.”
“Malysh …” A press of a button and a thick dark wedge of privacy glass slid up to hide us from the driver, who didn’t as much as flick a glance behind him. “You’re all I’ve been able to think about.”
I couldn’t help myself as a shard of doubt pierced my certainty. “Then why didn’t you call?”
His eyebrows drew together, his eyes darkening as he stroked my cheek. “I did leave my phone at that old house. But when I got a new one — and finally carved out some time to reach out — it had already been six months.” A muscle in his cheek jumped — I could see it even beneath the beard. “I was afraid you’d be angry with me that it had been so long.”
I snorted at him. “So you waited even longer.”
“I see now that was a mistake.”
“Yeah, just a little one.” I petted his beard experimentally — it was softer than I’d imagined — and chuckled. “I bet all the ladies went wild over this.”
Mikhail captured my hand, his touch gentle but insistent. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Your beard.” I swallowed hard. “It looks really good.”
“Sergei suggested I grow it so I looked older,” he said. “I don’t know about any ladies.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoffed. “I’m sure women have been throwing themselves at you this entire time.”
“Hm.” He rubbed his beard, his eyes taking on a dangerous glint. “Maybe like you threw yourself at other men the moment I left Smythe?”
I scooted away from him. “It wasn’t like that.”
“And I didn’t go sampling every flavor from around the world, either.” He drew me closer in spite of my efforts to put space between us. “I didn’t ask you out to fight with you, Sadie.”
“I don’t want to fight.” I tried my best to swallow down my insecurities. He was just so handsome that I didn’t believe for a minute that he hadn’t been with anyone since me.
“Then prove it.”
I kissed him so I wouldn’t talk anymore. My words were getting me in trouble. I wished I could just sink into my actions without having to think so damn much about Mikhail’s absence.
And how life had marched on without him.
Mikhail deepened the kiss, reaching around to caress my neck while threading his fingers through my curls. Maybe we didn’t have to hash everything out right now. Maybe I didn’t have to worry about telling Mikhail the truth about the triplets. Maybe I could just give myself over to pleasure and enjoy myself for once.
I deserved it. I deserved this.
I leaned in to the kiss, leveraging myself off the leather seat of the car to sit in his lap. He grinned against my mouth even if he didn’t comment, opting instead to kiss me absolutely breathless.
