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Good idea. We both need to cool down.
Chapter Nine
Seraphine
Adoring Lilly comes so easily that growing close to her feels natural. Our art lessons are equally as enjoyable for me as I hope they are for her. She seems to be having fun, and she definitely has an artistic side to herself—not just with dance, even though I know that is her passion, but with art too.
“That’s beautiful,” I say as I look over to see what she is working on. The paints are mixed into the most interesting shades on her paper, almost as if she is creating her own never before seen colors.
“Thanks!” she beams as she looks over at mine too.
We’ve been working on painting from our imagination since painting from real life didn’t sound quite as exciting to her.
“You’re really good at painting,” Lilly says as she smiles up at me. “Did you go to school for it? Or did you teach yourself?”
“I went to school for it, and I graduated with an art degree,” I answer as I see the excitement fade from her eyes. “But do you want to know something? While I learned the mechanics of art in school along with an incredible amount of history, but my ability tomakeart, that comes from inside.” I tap my chest over my heart. “Here.”
“Really?”
“Like dance. While you can be taught the mechanics in school, the creativity is innate. And it looks like you already have a gift for it.”
Her smile returns and she begins to move her brush around the page again.
“I want to go to dance school,” she says as she works. “But I would like to still be able to paint too. My mother used to paint. She wasreallygood. She painted on the sides of buildings.”
“Wow. That is incredible,” I say, truly meaning it. “Muralists are talented artists that can paint on a large scale, sometimes using entire buildings as their canvases. She sounds like she was a very creative person. I am sorry that I didn’t get a chance to ever meet her, but I can see a lot of what I imagine about her in you.”
“Really? I hope so,” Lilly says. “You remind me a little of her.”
“I do?”
“Yeah. You’re creative, and kind, and you make my dad smile.”
My hand freezes on the paper at her last comment. I don’t know whether to ignore it and move on or ask her what she means. Thankfully, Lilly just continues talking on her own.
“Before my mom died, my dad was happier. He didn’t stress so much over work orme. Now it seems like all he does is work and stress.”
Again, my heart aches for both of them.
“Your dad is a good guy,” I say, trying to sound as non-invasive as possible. “He loves you and worries over you because he wants to make sure that you are happy and safe.”
“Yeah, I know. I love him. But I want him to be happy too. Sometimes it makes me evenmoresad that he is still so unhappy.”
I find myselfneedingto ask her what she means about that.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Well, before we moved here, he had friends, and he even went out on a couple of dates. I didn’t like the women much, but at least it was like he was trying to get back to having a life after mom died. Don’t get me wrong, I miss my mom more than anything in the world, and I wish that she was still here, and my dad was still with her. But she’s gone, and she’s not coming back. I think he needs to move on.”
“That is a very mature outlook for a young woman.” I say with a gentle smile.
“Thanks,” she grins. “But it’s true. He used to be happy, and then we were both so sad after the accident. I don’t want to forget about my mom, and I don’t think that I ever will. But I’m ready to move on. It’shardernot to move on. I feel like I am trying to fill in for my mom’s place so that my dad won’t be so unhappy and so lonely, but it’s making things harder for me. I really wish that he would find someone else to be happy with so that we could both move on.”
I open my mouth to try and say something helpful, although I’m not sure exactly what yet. But Lilly blurts out one last thing.
“I wish that he would fall in love withyou.”
Children and their abrupt honesty. I don’t know what to say to that. I am flattered that Lilly likes me enough to want me in her life and to want to share me with her dad, but I am also completely disarmed. I came here to find myself and my own path, not to fall in love or get involved in a pre-existing little family. And I am starting to feel dangerously close to the point of picturing what a life with Chad and Lilly would look like.
