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Darla takes my hand. “You did break the poor guy’s heart.”
But I shake my head stubbornly.
“He’ll get over it. After all, he’s been with a lot of ladies. Women go in and out of his life all the time, and I’m not going to be any different.”
“Do you think that’s really true?” Darla asks, giving me a knowing look.
I get defensive.
“Listen, I had to protect myself. It’s hard enough to be taken seriously as a woman, let alone a woman who’s slept with her boss.”
Darla shakes her head, looking a bit like a red-haired Yoda, wrinkly and wise.
“The heart wants what it wants, Elisa. If you want to be with Robert, we’ll figure it out.”
I sniffle, the tears coming back again. “That’s what he said, too. But… I don’t know. I’ve never had luck with relationships, and you know how this is my first big break! I didn’t want to throw everything away so fast!”
She gives me a measured look. “I get that, Elisa. I really do. But I see it in your eyes. Don’t give up on your heart just because of your career.”
“I can’t, Darla. I can’t risk it. I’m sorry.”
She pulls me against her side in a tight hug. “I’m not asking you to. I’m just telling you to listen to your heart. Don’t close him out completely. If he gives you a shot at being together without consequences, will you consider giving him a try?”
I consider this. If Robert were any other guy, and we could date without it screwing up my chances of being a published author, would I go for it?
Of course, I would. Without even a second of hesitation.
“Okay,” I finally say. “If some miracle happens and he says we can date without it ruining my life and career, I’ll go out with him. But only under those conditions. I really do like him. A lot. If we can make it work, I want to.”
Darla smiles. “That’s my girl.”
We stay on the couch talking for a bit longer, but I should really be getting home.
“Thanks for being a friend, Darla. You’ve kind of gone above and beyond what an agent does today,” I say ruefully.
“No sweat sweetheart. Even if you weren’t my client, I’d still want to be your friend. You’re great, Elisa. I’m always here for you,” she winks.
I wipe away one last tear and give her a big hug. “You’re the best. I’ll see you in two weeks when we learn my fate?”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” she says firmly. “And you’re going to be fine, baby girl. Trust me.”
I hug her one last time before leaving the office. Normally, when I’m in the city, I like to walk around for a bit before heading home. But today, I feel so emotionally and physically drained that I decide against it. Instead, I head right to the train station and go home.
After exiting the station, I consider heading to my parents’ house, but I don’t want to worry them. I’m sure I look like a mess right now, which would give them a scare. Instead, I stop at the convenience store and pick up a pint of ice cream. Netflix is calling.
When I get home, I plan on flopping down on the couch with my laptop, ice cream, and a crappy movie. But when I open my laptop, my manuscript’s still there. Seeing it hurts for a second, and it takes me back to the scene today at Robert’s office. But then I read the paragraphs at issue, and I’m inspired to work on it. And with just a few tweaks, I’ve fixed the problem and made my story stronger. I throw my ice cream in the freezer and spend two hours working like a fiend on my book.
Robert and Pattie wanted more emotion, and they’re getting it. I channel all of my feelings from today into my manuscript. Without reading it through, I send the completed file to Darla for a go-over. I still feel stressed about what I did today, but knowing I got my rewrite to my agent on time helps me relax.
I pull the ice cream from the freezer and settle back onto the couch. The first movie on my recommended list is a romantic comedy I haven’t seen. I click play. I love a good rom-com. But this time, halfway through, my heart starts to hurt. The girl just left the guy for something stupid he did. And for the first time in my life, I actually empathize with the heroine. I had a love, and I lost him.
Before I know it, I’m crying again.
Robert looked so shattered when I spit lies in his face like it was nothing. It took a lot for him to open up to me about family, and to confess his love. And yet like some heartless monster, I stomped on his declaration like it meant nothing to me, even though it meant everything to me.
