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A screen near the armoire lights up, indicating the men have selected how they’d like the evening to initiate. Tension I hadn’t identified relaxes from my shoulders as worry I hadn’t realized I’m feeling eases. They want to meet first. I'll enter the room as myself. No submissive protocol. Just me.
Here come the nerves again. They want to meet me? Just me? What if they don’t like me and the whole night is junked before I get a chance to figure out if I can still be a sub? The nerves are too much. My whole body’s frozen in place next to the screen.
I don’t know what I need, but I know I don’t have it.
CHAPTER5
GAREN MARTEL
It’s taking too long. The minute hand of the decorative pendulum clock against the wall is silent in motion, loud in impact. The manic pacing and bouncing I couldn’t seem to contain earlier has died off. Now, I’m just worried. Logically, I know tonight isn’t the end all be all of things. Nevertheless, it has a certain gravity to it. A sense we’re all standing on the ledge of a massive precipice, staring down at the future we’ve dreamed of.
The unofficial optimist in our impromptu family, it’s been my job to keep us motivated and patient. I can admit, if only to myself, that sometimes being the believer gets to be really hard. So much of my confidence that our idea is a good one rests on this sub tonight.
Is it fair to put so much pressure on a girl I haven’t met? Rationally, no. Am I internally doing it anyway? Fuck, maybe, I’m more masochist than sadist because yes, yes, I am.
“I’m going to get her.” Archer takes two steps toward the door we’re expecting the woman to come through before Felix and I manage to stop him.
“You’ll scare her. Slow down.” I’m not being a dick. It’s just the truth of things. While I’m the one most likely to give her pain, Archer looks like a mean motherfucker on the best of days. Wracked with tension as he is right now, he’s a thundercloud of scary.
“Let me go check on her.” I don’t know if she received any information that will help her tell us apart from the jump. If she knows Felix is the Dom interested in a pet, it might worsen whatever’s causing her to delay.
“Fine, but gently.” This from Archer. Despite his fearsome looks, he’s actually the softest Dom of all us. For a while, he and I were members of a club back home in Mariposa, where our business is headquartered.
We didn’t play together, but I’ve watched him scene enough times to know his truest need is to send his partner flying into subspace, so he can provide the aftercare she needs to come back down.
It’s these differences in our styles that have me convinced this could actually work as a long term lifestyle. The wrinkle has always been finding a woman who’s attracted to all of us, that we’re all attracted to, and who can handle all our dirtiest desires.
If she’s standing on the other side of the door, now’s the moment for us to find out. I knock gently and lean close to the doorjamb.
“Little sub, you’d best hurry and come out. Your paperwork says we might meet your feral fox, and Felix is so excited about it he’s about to burst into song.”
I look to where Felix is waiting and catch his eye. My nod of encouragement brings him closer to the door, so she can hear him start to hum.
“Oh no, little one, it’s too late! He’s already going. Any second now, he’s gonna sing—”
“What does the fox say?” Felix’s natural bass voice cracks on the falsetto he attempts, and I hear a tiny giggle from behind the door.
“Save me, little sub! Save my eardrums, at least!” My teasing icebreaker does the trick. Felix goes silent, and we all freeze as the soft snick of the door unlatching whispers into the room.
I think we’re all half-convinced we’re being pranked, at this point. There’s a tugging deep inside me, almost a foreshadowing, that warns this moment will change everything. Felix picks up the tune, softly crooning in his natural bass without the silliness.
“Somewhere deep in the woods.
I know you’re hiding.
What is your sound?
Will we ever know?
Will always be a mystery.
What do you say?”
Her voice finally answers back, the little tremble giving away her nerves. Pride swells in my chest for this little sub who’s pushing through a scary moment, so she can get to the good stuff I’m pretty sure we’ll all feel tonight.
“Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding.
What the fox say?”she says, followed by the cutest hiccuppy giggle.
