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“Why am I here?” I ask, trying to think back, but everything is fuzzy.
Lucian lifts the lid of the container and goes on to pour me a drink of orange juice. “I was hoping that was something you could tell me.” This time when his gaze meets mine, I see a flash of anger on his face.
I rub my head for a second time and wince again when my fingers connect with the dressing. “I don’t remember…”
“Please allow me to refresh your memory,” Lucian says, and retakes his seat. “I told you Jupiter was dangerous, and I told you not to ride her without saddle-breaking her first for six months. I said then and only then she could be ridden by me and only me. You could have been killed today. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I, er…” I rub my head again and wince for a third time. I think back and remember waking up this morning and joining Mrs Collins in the kitchen. After that it’s a little fuzzy.
“If Josh hadn’t found you when he did, who knows what would have happened.”
Josh.
Now I remember everything.
I remember the conversation I had with Josh in the estate gardens. I remember heading to the paddock and how easily I was able to climb onto Jupiter’s back. It was as though she didn’t even feel me as I got comfortable in the saddle. I remember leaning forward and telling her she was a good girl, all whilst running my fingers through her coarse mane. The next thing I remember is Josh running toward me, yelling for me to get down. And that was it. Josh spooked Jupiter and she bucked beneath me. My gravity shifted, and I fell.
“What were you thinking?” Lucian asks for a second time. “You didn’t even have a helmet on.”
“I, I…” My words hitch in my throat as the door leading into my room opens and two doctors walk in.
Lucian stands immediately and nods. “Gentlemen.”
They exchange pleasantries before the two men approach the bed. “Hello, Miss Janssen. I’m Dr. Connors, and this is my assistant, Dr. Davis. You’ll be pleased to know that after the preliminary checks we carried out everything looks as it should. We’re going to keep you overnight for observation, and all being well you’ll be discharged in the morning.”
Home.
I zone out of the conversation and consider what that word really means to me. Home is the place I feel happy, the place I belong. For the first time since I was a child, I don’t feel as though I belong anywhere, to anything or anyone.
“Thank you, Doctors.” Lucian shakes both men’s hands, and they leave the room. He retakes the seat beside me and stares down at his phone screen.
I lean forward to see what he is looking at when he angles the phone away from me. “What are you doing?” I ask.
Lucian lets out a sigh and lowers his hand, and with it his phone. “I am emailing a plastic surgeon whom my father plays golf with. Now I don’t want you to be alarmed, but it is a nasty cut you have to your head. I just want to see what availability he has, should you decide to—”
I shake my head vehemently. “I am not having plastic surgery.”
Our gazes connect, and it’s now I look at him, really look at him. His face is drawn and his eyes are bloodshot, but as red as his eyes are, his gaze still holds a warmth I feel right down to my core. I love this man, I love him so much that I can’t sit back and watch him lose everything he has worked so hard for.
I open my mouth, the words on the tip of my tongue, when Lucian jumps up from his seat and covers my lips with his. The kiss feels so good, soft yet demanding, passionate yet angry. His whole body trembles, and he snakes his hand around my head and pulls me closer.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he breathes into the kiss. “I thought… Jesus, I thought I lost you.”
My eyes snap open, and I don’t see Lucian as a cocky billionaire with the world at his feet. I see him as a man, a man who was close to losing all he holds dear, and that scares the hell out of him and that scares the hell out of me.
This is every little girl’s fairytale ending, the part where they live happily ever after. But I am not a Disney princess, and this is not my story. Sure, I am a brief chapter in Lucian’s life, but a chapter that needs to come to an end. I pull back. His lips fight to hold their claim on mine before he releases me.
“Lucian,” I whisper, his face only inches from mine. His eyes snap open, and I’m lost in a vision of emerald green. I want to tell him everything that happened today and what a snake his cousin is. But if I do, Josh will ruin him.
What choice do I have?
“Yes, Chelsea?”
Lucian leans forward and waits for my reply, but I’m completely lost for words.
“You’re exhausted.” Lucian pulls the tray to the side so it is no longer over my lap and grabs the bedside remote. “Please don’t let me stop you from going to sleep.” He leans back in his seat, and I gather he is trying to get comfortable. “I have some emails that require my attention, not forgetting that I need to catch up with Christine, my PA, but I’ll be quiet. Most importantly, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
No, you won’t, and you never will again.
