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Angelina
“I’m not even sure why I said what I said. I think I was possessed or something.” I shook out my hair as I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, trying to decide how to do my hair for my Lara Croft Tomb Raider costume. The darn braid wasn’t working.
“He really blew you off? Are you sure? Every time we’ve watched a movie, you two have been talking and giggling like two little lovebirds,” Lizzie said. “Oh, try the braid again, you almost had it. Dang, you look exactly like her.”
“Only way smaller and no type of chest.” I laughed. “And yes. He was lying. I’ve wrecked things, haven’t I? I mean, I’m not ready to jump into a relationship. I don’t even know if Icankiss a guy without spiraling into a PTSD flashback. I mean, the dreams are still coming, almost every night.”
“Almost? As in, they’re not every night now? When did that happen?”
“They’re not every night anymore. Um…a few weeks ago, maybe. I still get them, but you know what? They’re not as vivid as they usually are.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I actually forgot.” I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten. My dreams and my…disorder have ruled my life for so long. They’d been at the base of every thought, deed, and action for three years one month and ten days. “I can’t believe it, Lizzie. I forgot!”
She smiled and started laughing. “God. That must feel so…freeing.”
I worked the braid and decided it’d have to be good enough as is.
“And you know what, Angelina?” Lizzie asked. “Maybe he pulled away for reasons you don’t know about. You said it yourself, you haven’t told him everything about you yet.”
“I’m not sure I’m going to anymore.” I carried the iPad into my bedroom and set it down to lace up my black, kick-ass boots. “He doesn’t need to know that crap.”
“Why not? Because he shot you down for trying to up your relationship status to more than friends?”
“Yeah. Not just anyone gets to know that kind of stuff about me.”
“That’s bullshit, Chica, and you know it.” Lizzie pointed at the screen. “You’re scared. And you know what? He sounds scared, too. That’s it. I know it. You’re both just freaking out.”
“You’ve seen Hunter, right? He doesn’t scare too easily. I mean, that black eye, he brushed it off like it was a paper cut or something.”
“Well, nothing physical scares him, but you, you’re more than that. Come on, girl, you’ve had enough counseling to notice this, haven’t you? I mean, I wasn’t even in the room while you two were talking it out and I can see it.” She shook her head. “And he didn’t tell you why—I mean the real reason—they moved around a lot?”
“Nope. But his eyes gave him away. And by lying, I mean lying by omission, there’s something he’s not telling me.”
“See. He’s scared you’ll find out and hate him. Yes. That’s it!” She fist-pumped the air as she nodded. “I’m going to be a damn shrink, you know that?”
“That’s not too original, Lizzie. We’ve watched about sixteen thousand movies about that very theme.”
“And as your pseudo-shrink, I have an assignment for you,” she said, totally ignoring me.
“Oh great.” I stood up and snatched the iPad then walked to the full-sized mirror beside my door for one final inspection.
Despite the big gap I’d created between Hunter and me last night, I was proud of myself for trying. I’d taken a risk, something I was getting better and better at lately.
We’d not talked at all today, but as far as I knew, we were still going down to the Kiddie Halloween event together. It was a small event in a safe environment I was familiar with and only little kids with a few parents and church staff would be there.
But still. I was doing it!
My first social event in over three years.
Three. Freaking. Years!
A wave of nausea swarmed my stomach like a kick to the gut.
“Whoa…breathe, girl. Breathe,” Lizzie said. “Think of some P!nk songs or something.”
