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He sagged into the couch more, and we sat in silence for a long time watching the tree sparkle. I was sad Hunter had it so rough growing up. No wonder he struggled with his anger.
“I want to try again,” I said, working up the courage to spit it out for the last ten minutes.
“What’s that?” He brushed his thumb over my shoulder.
“Being close with you.”
“As in…sex?”
“Um, not…no.” I sat up. “I meant—”
“I didn’t think you meant that, but…I wasn’t sure for a second there.” He grinned. “Caught me by surprise.”
Heat flamed my cheeks. “Have you…had sex before?”
He nodded. “Before your attack, had you?”
I shook my head.
“I’m sorry, Lina. What happened to you was brutal enough as it was, but for it to be your first experience with sex…that’s shitty.” I swore I heard him growl.
Shitty was the best way to describe it, yes. I wasn’t even sure I’d ever be able to have sex, or if I wanted to even try.
“Pretending that never happened to you, would you have had sex before marriage?”
I folded my legs up onto the couch and wrapped my arms around them, bringing my knees to my chest. “I was still figuring things out about that. Maybe…I was pretty much the only freshman in college who hadn’t.” I laughed, remembering my roommate’s surprise when I’d told her that. It’d been her goal those first few weeks of school to ‘hook’ me up.
I wasn’t a prude or anything…I just hadn’t found the right person to consider it.
“Boyfriends?”
“A few in high school. Hadn’t found one in college yet, then again, it was early in the semester when…well, there wasn’t much time. And since then,...online dating only works until they want to meet you.”
“You online dated?” He sat up. “Don’t tell me you were sexting guys…”
“Hunter!” I slapped his chest. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“Sorry, that was an asshole thing to say. I mean—crappy thing to say. The idea of you being with anyone else…well, it got me a little riled up.”
“How many girls…women have you been with?”
“Three. And no one for two years.”
“Since Isabelle? Oh yeah, the no dating rule…”
“Right.” He shook his head. “It was…I was too dangerous.”
Flashes of anger and hurt slanted through his eyes, but I more saw it as a tortured soul.
“When you say you’re too dangerous, tell me exactly what that means. Like, do you get…aggressive when you’re…with someone?”
He let out a long breath. “I’m a big guy, Lina. I have great control, but…yeah, sometimes I get a little worked up when things get intense.”
“Have you…hurt someone—a girl—when you’ve been…withher?”
“No, not like that, more it’s…well, my temper. I—if I fly off the handle, like I did on that guy last night, people close to me, as in vicinity close, tend to get hurt. Even those I care about.”
“What happens when you fall into a rage like that?” I gripped his bicep, and he flexed beneath my touch.
